


Kintsugi

by GraveTiger



Category: Original Work
Genre: Adoption, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Con-Con Breath Play, F/M, Forced Prostitution, Human Trafficking, M/M, Organized Crime, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rape/Rape Fantasy, Sex Toys, Sexual Slavery, Slow Burn, Underage Rape/Non-con
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-10
Updated: 2021-01-20
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:27:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 7
Words: 28,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26387908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GraveTiger/pseuds/GraveTiger
Summary: He'd resigned himself to this lot in life of servicing Alphas. This was how the world worked for Omegas like him. At least here Erasyl didn't have to worry about going hungry.Then he hears a name he'd hoped to never hear again: Khan.
Relationships: Original Character(s) & Original Character(s), Original Character(s)/Original Character(s), Original Male Character/Original Male Character
Comments: 79
Kudos: 132





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [pippawrites](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pippawrites/gifts).
  * Inspired by [A Lamb Amongst Wolves](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20175361) by [pippawrites](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pippawrites/pseuds/pippawrites). 
  * Inspired by [Perseverance](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23019298) by [pippawrites](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pippawrites/pseuds/pippawrites). 



> A big thanks to pippawrites for letting me write this. These two works (and the two one-shots I don't have here) are brilliantly written. I love them so much! If you haven't read them yet, please consider doing so. I've tried to make this fairly stand alone but everything will have more context with the others read and they're just so good you should read them anyway! Hopefully I do this whole thing some justice...
> 
> Please do be mindful of the tags. They're there for a reason. 
> 
> Kintsugi, also known as kintsukuroi, is the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery by mending the areas of breakage with lacquer dusted or mixed with powdered gold, silver, or platinum, a method similar to the maki-e technique. As a philosophy, it treats breakage and repair as part of the history of an object, rather than something to disguise. - Wikipedia

“Come on. Open up!”

It felt like his jaw was being unhinged to take the cock being shoved down his throat. He really shouldn’t be having issues with taking it. So many had already been there.

Maybe it was because this one hadn't showered in a couple of days…

The scent he was getting off the faceful of pubes was _strong_ and the taste was unreal. It almost made him gag. He forced it down, focusing on getting the Alpha off as quick as possible. A hand touched his throat, feeling how it stretched as it was fucked. Erasyl wasn’t sure why some liked it… Maybe it was a power trip or something. Maybe they liked feeling a part of them distort a part of him and there was nothing he could do. Technically this Alpha could just make him suffocate on his dick, stuff his throat deep and not let up to let him breathe. He wouldn’t get in trouble with the law… probably have to pay for property damage but that was it.

A slap on the wrist.

Because Erasyl was only worth the money he brought in.

He’d been foolish once, thinking he was more than this... more than something for Alphas and the occasional Beta male to get off to. His thinking had been corrected since then and it made it easier to take the cocks down his throat or the knots in his ass. It didn't make him feel any less dirty though. He knew what he was doing wasn't normal… that Omegas weren't meant for _this_ , being passed around like one would a… He honestly had no idea what people would pass around like he had been. They were holes to be used by Alphas sure… just not by so many he'd think… but did he know really...?

He was brought back with a sharp tug on his hair, almost hard enough to rip some strands out. Early on that would’ve made him bite from clenching his jaw at the pain, but it didn't hurt as much anymore… or so he told himself and he just went slack for a second to gather himself and then got to work, tonguing the cock still hard in his throat. It ended a few minutes later with a warm gush down straight to his belly. The client pulled out, leaving a trail over Erasyl’s bottom lip and tucked himself back into his pants. A feigned gentle touch to his cheek in some weird display of fondness left him feeling… well nothing. They were like the pets one gives to a dog… just something else to remind him that he wasn’t his own person. The client left the room and Erasyl took the opportunity to wipe the semen from his lip, arching his back and hearing it pop a few times.

He’d resigned himself to this lot in life… servicing Alphas and the odd Beta. It wasn’t great, but it was better than starving on the street which was where he’d end up if he ever got tossed out on his face… and then he’d be sucking dick anyway. He was far from home and he wasn’t even sure if his family would welcome him back after all the disgusting things he’d done.

At least he’d keep that money though… but he wasn’t guaranteed a bed or the two meals he got either...

When his pimp didn’t come in to tell him about his next client, Erasyl stood, easing his legs out from how long he’d been on his knees. They hurt but he was used to it. The ache distracted him from his sore ass… but then his ass was always sore to some extent so what did it really matter.

He rinsed with the mint mouthwash in case the next client was a kisser and sat on the toilet for a moment, head against the wall. He’d missed his allotted hour for a nap earlier because one of his clients for later in the week wasn’t going to make it and decided that he had an hour around lunch to fuck. Erasyl had laid there for an hour, making the appropriate noises, behaving in the needy cockslut manner this particular guy got off on. He’d laid there through two knots, waiting for both to go down. When the Alpha had _finally_ left, Erasyl had ten minutes to wash himself out and be ready for his usual appointment. He was feeling the lack of sleep now.

The door opened, “Slag!” and the sight of the slightly overweight Alpha appeared with his patchy facial hair, “Next appointment’s in five. Newby, so you’d better seal the deal. Got it?”

“Yes Sir,” Erasyl slowly stood and wandered into the room where his pimp was still waiting. The pimp gave him a once over and then a sharp nod before leaving and closing the door. He heaved a sigh and grabbed the lube, slicking his fingers up and gave himself a quick stretch. He’d just wiped them off when the door opened again and the new client came in. The client held a few pieces from the toy room, making Erasyl wince on the inside but he knelt anyway, keeping his knees spread and his hands behind his back, “How may I serve you this evening?”

The answering chuckle didn’t bode well.

A crop touched his head, forcing it to touch the floor. His ass was pulled up into the air, fingers probing at his hole. It wasn’t the worst thing he’d had happen to him, still a little nerve-wracking given what else he’d seen the Alpha carrying. One of the larger textured plugs was shoved in without warning which made him _eternally_ grateful that he’d thought to stretch himself a bit beforehand. It still stung, but it was ok. He’d be able to work through it with little difficulty. He almost bit his tongue when the crop came down on his ass with a sharp **crack**. It hurt but it was more the surprise of it that got to him. He couldn’t see anything but the floor under his forehead and the Alpha hadn’t moved much so it was impossible to know what he was going to do next.

Maybe that was the point.

Maybe Erasyl wasn’t supposed to know what was going to happen.

The crop came down again, right over the base of the plug, and Erasyl couldn’t quite keep the squeak to himself. There was a throaty chuckle above him and hand touched him, a finger sliding in with the plug for a moment, stretching him wider, before just tracing featherlight over his skin and up to his waist. Another swat with the crop and Erasyl shook it off, feeling the sting. The hand moved again, pulling at the plug, stretching his hole tight and then twisted it, letting the ridges rub against the thin skin. Erasyl grunted, not sure where this game was going and how to go about giving the client what he wanted out of it.

“Come on. Let me hear you,” the voice was accented, maybe French or Swiss or something, “ _Scream_ for me.”

So he wanted a rape fantasy.

He wanted to know Erasyl didn’t want this.

He wanted to _hurt_ him.

Well… Erasyl could do that.

“Come on!” another swing of the crop on his ass.

“Stop it!” Erasyl jerked and finally raised his head a little. A rough hand grabbed him by the hair and shoved his face back to the floor, almost breaking his nose. “Get off me! Stop it! Leave me alone!” the crop came down again and he screamed.

“There we go,” a hand smoothed over his back, “Let it out, _Cheri_. You don’t want to be here do you? But you are. And you’ll give me what I want even if I have to pry it from you.”

Erasyl _almost_ rolled his eyes as he made them water so his nose would get stuffy, “Please let me go,” and sniffed so the Alpha could hear the tears, “I won’t tell anybody. Please… just let me-”

“I don’t think so,” the hand grabbed him by the nape and yanked him to his feet before tossing him face first on the bed, “On your front.” Erasyl’s wrists were tugged up to the headboard and tied with a length of rope. His legs were tied thigh to ankle so they stayed bent. He wasn’t sure why if he was facefirst… That kind of tying did more good on his back- The crack of the crop against his ass from the new angle _**hurt**_ and he did scream. That seemed to please the client because he did it again… and again. Erasyl was sure he’d end up with welts by the end of it. The Alpha finally got tired of the crop and climbed up on the bed.

“Please let me go. I won’t tell-Please-Just stop…” the tears were getting genuine and, while he didn’t care for this particular client, the want for him to leave was getting… real… Erasyl didn’t like where this seemed to be going. Some of the other clients would hurt him sure… but this was something else. The others had given him a safe word if it ever got to be _truly_ too much. He hadn’t used any of them yet because he was good at what he did, but the option had been comforting during the times when he’d bitten through his lip or clenched his fists so hard, his nails cut into his skin.

This Alpha gave him _nothing_.

He wanted a rape fantasy and seemed intent on making it as real for Erasyl as it was for him.

The plug was yanked on, twisting as it was ripped out. Erasyl screamed and fought the ropes, knowing he wouldn’t get away, but his long buried instinct to run was coming back up. He tried to shove it back down even as he felt hands spread him. The cock shoved in with no warning punched the air from his lungs. He gasped at the girth of it, thicker than most though it didn’t seem to go very far. A leather strap was looped around his throat and his head was pulled back till it wouldn’t go any further. His arms couldn’t even move and he felt them strain with the way his neck was stretched back. The Alpha hadn’t stopped fucking into him, his grunts getting harsher as he drove himself closer. Erasyl tried pleading with him to keep the fantasy he wanted going, but it was difficult to breathe. The strap tightened, his air cut off completely. He tried to alert the Alpha, but no air meant no sounds… The way his back arched meant his arms were pulled tight and he couldn’t move his legs enough to buck him off. He was helpless, forced to just let it happen and couldn’t even summon tears anymore. Everything faded from his vision, slowly greying out to just _feeling_ things, the way the cock in his ass jabbed at him. The one time it hit his prostate felt really good, but it didn’t happen again and soon even feeling ebbed away. His lungs screamed at him and he could himself twitch as much as he could under the weight. _Just_ as he was sure this was how he’d die, the pressure let up and he sucked in air, choking on it. He dry heaved a little and gasped as he caught his breath. The client pet his head and released his wrists before the door closed behind him. He just laid there for a few minutes, mind reeling with nothing. It was the closest he’d come to dying in awhile and it shook him to the core.

But he’d made it.

He was ok. He was breathing now and the wet, sticky feeling in his ass meant the client got what he’d wanted. The thought that he’d have to do this again chilled his insides but he was just so happy to be breathing that he couldn’t feel much more than that.

The door opened and the pimp walked in, phone in hand, “Why are you still in bed? Get up you lazy thing!” the bed was kicked, “Up! Now!” and left, tossing over his shoulder that the last client for the day was in thirty minutes and he’d better be ready for it.

Erasyl dragged himself up, untying the ropes and picked up the discarded toys once his head stopped spinning. He cleaned them and put them back, trying to be as quiet as he could as he walked back through the house. The fish tank bubbled in the wall, the little colorful creatures swimming around in blissful ignorance. He wondered if they were happy with their lot in life. Sometimes he wondered if maybe he wouldn’t be better off as a fish. All he’d have to do is swim and be pretty and he’d be fed. He wouldn’t even need sleep… just swim around in endless circles in the same space with the same plastic grass and logs and pirate skull.

He wandered back to his room where he set the timer for five minutes and hopped in the shower to clean himself off. His ass hurt and he still felt as though he couldn’t breathe right but he was breathing in general so he assumed it was alright. His ass stung and he only hoped the next client wouldn’t be put off by how red it probably was. The timer went off so he climbed out and toweled off before looking at the mirror. His reflection stared back at him, a boy still with slanted dark eyes and dark hair and naturally lightly tanned skin. He looked foreign compared to most of his clients, the vast majority of them being pale and varying shades of hair and colored eyes. Even his own pimp was white, so pale one could see the veins in his arms.

He couldn’t really remember how old he was since he’d lost all sense of time for awhile, but he did know that he was small for whatever it was. Early teens seemed a good thereabouts age though he didn’t look much older than what he imagined eleven or twelve would look like. He was just _this_ side of being underweight and he only knew what that was because of the well fed clients. His pimp wasn’t a large man but ate well enough to keep his stomach full all the time and maintain the little bit of muscle he had from using his cane.

Fucking hell was Erasyl scared of that thing.

He remembered it being used on him only twice and that had been early on. Once he’d figured out what brought the hellish thing out, he made sure to avoid them like the plague. It’d been many seasons since he’d seen it but he knew it was lurking _somewhere_ in the house.

The client, a Beta, came and required Erasyl to fluff him while fingering himself open. He then rode the client off and on for an hour, pausing after each orgasm to fluff him back up. Once or twice he had Erasyl finger him open while sucking on him and then complained when Erasyl’s fingers were too short to get where he wanted them to be. It was tiring but he’d rather do this than someone else. Lazy clients didn’t hurt him. They just laid there and let him do the work until time was up and they’d amble off into the night.

He was fed his second meal of the day while the sheets were in the wash. And then took a long shower after he’d moved them to the dryer. Once done and ready for bed, he stretched out on the pallet on the floor because he wasn’t allowed to use the bed in the room without a client and the sheets were still in the dryer anyway. The pimp spread thick lotion over the worst of it on his ass and then left him alone. He watched the shadows of fish on the floor, the hum of the tank filter a nice little bit of white noise. The dryer buzzed and he thought about going to fix the bed up so he could sleep an extra five minutes in the morning but his muscles ached from the new client so he stayed put. He heard the phone go off and the pimp curse. There was a whisper, something he’d said on the phone when he thought Erasyl was asleep.

Elliot Khan was coming.

Granted he didn’t know an _Elliot_ , but he knew the name ‘Khan’ and the terrible people associated with that name.

Was he related to the wall of Alpha that had taken him from his family, the horrible one that made his own father quake in his boots…?

The very same one that had tossed him on a plane at whatever age he’d been and used him until he was bleeding on the carpet. He’d growled somebody else’s name while he pounded away at Erasyl’s innards, stretching him with his knot until he’d split. The Alpha’s parents hadn’t been pleased that Erasyl had apparently been ‘ruined’ and thus he’d been sent here.

At least he’d never experienced pain like he had that first time.

Sure there was pain but nothing, not even almost dying by strangulation, was like what he’d endured on that plane.

He’d heard stories from his clients of the Khans going down which he found hard to believe. They were powerful and endless. They’d find a way to come back and he needed to stay put so when they did, they wouldn’t have a reason to kill him or go after his family. They’d said the debt would require at least twenty years of service and he’d been here less than ten… or so he assumed by looking at himself. He’d serve his time and then, hopefully, they’d honor their half of the deal and let him loose. Still… there was a part of him that understood that would never happen and he was simply being stupid to wish for freedom even if it was years away.


	2. Chapter 2

The morning went on as mornings did. He woke up and stumbled through putting sheets on the bed, still half asleep, before going out to eat his two packets of oatmeal and single egg. Once he was done, he rinsed off in the shower and prepped himself for the first client. It was an Alpha as were most of them. This one in particular had some kind of personality disorder… or maybe his temper was just on a hairpin trigger. When he was nice, he was a favorite.

When he wasn’t… Erasyl would feel it for a week.

There had been a couple of times, at least, that this Alpha had torn him, made him bleed. Erasyl was _convinced_ that he’d have been sliced to ribbons if things like knives were allowed. Thankfully they weren’t so the worst that could happen were welts and bruises like the ones from yesterday.

The Alpha seemed to be in a nice mood… until he saw the marks, “What. is that.”

Erasyl’s blood froze, fingers gripping the sheets under him, “I’m sorry, Sir… I-”

Hands gripped his ass, fingers digging into the bruises left by the new client. He tried not to flinch but one finger got one of the nastier bruises so it just _hurt_. His knuckles turned white from holding into the linens.

“You’re a little scrubber ain’t ya,” the tone was nasty, the hot breath at his ear sending unpleasant chills down his spine. He fought the tremors, “letting them mark ya up like that.”

“I couldn’t stop them,” he swallowed.

“Did I ask for excuses, you worthless cunt?”

Erasyl whimpered, biting his bottom lip. The Alpha was pissed, adding to the bruises. He grabbed his hips, fingers digging into his joints. Erasyl fought himself to not try to get away. It would just make it worse for him in the end. The Alpha speared him, whipping his hips for while until he’d popped a knot. Erasyl bit back a scream, only losing a pained squeal when the Alpha didn’t realise right away and almost ripped it out.

“ _Fuck_ ,” he gasped and leaned over Erasyl, breathing heavy. Erasyl felt tears and let the first few drip before he tried to blink them away. He was so sure he was going to be torn in half. The way his ass stung, he might have torn, but he wouldn’t know until he was alone. It was another round and a second knot before the man left before Erasyl could take stock of the damage. There was a twinge, possibly a slight tear but he wasn’t bleeding so that was something.

The next three were easy by comparison and then came the twins from Glasgow. They both were some sort of business man where traveling alot was expected, or so Erasyl had assumed and guessed based in snippets he’d overheard. What he did, for a fact, know was that the older one was married and the younger moaned somebody else’s name every time he’d cummed down his throat. He’d then pet Erasyl on the head and tell him that, while it was good head, ‘Charlotte’ did better. Erasyl didn’t know who Charlotte was, but the Alpha always ended up saying something that sounded alot like what that one french or swiss guy would say but in his heavy Scottish accent. The older Alpha apparently just wanted a hole to fuck without worrying about getting somebody pregnant.

“She's up th' duff again... Batch four… I cannae tak' it.”

“Weel stoap pumpin' her wi'oot a plan then. They've git condoms fur a reason.”

Erasyl didn’t care. He just wanted them gone so he could go sit in the shower for two minutes. They’d used him for the full hour and he felt sloshy and gross. When they did finally leave, he enjoyed the steam for the moment he had it and then lathered himself in lotion to keep his skin from drying out.

The rest of the day went as normally as it could, though there were a few rougher clients than usual. When it ended, he stuffed the sheets in the wash and fed the fish before eating himself. The soak in the shower was nice as he got enough time to fully rinse himself out. His bed on the floor called to him and he sank down into it with a sigh, closing his eyes and not feeling up to eavesdropping on the pimp.

The following morning he woke up to his oatmeal being poured over his head. It was, of course, hot as hell and he quickly wiped it off. Only after it was gone and his face was left stinging that he realized the mess he’d made all over the carpet…

And the pissed Alpha pimp kneeling in front of him.

His insides shrank, making him feel nauseous.

“Do you know what time it is,” the tone was low.

“N-no sir…”

“You’re ten minutes late-” oh fuck, “-If you had a client, you wouldn’t be ready in time. Mercifully for you, they cancelled,” his stomach knotted further and the pimp grabbed him, flipping him into his stomach then leaned over him, “I haven't had a goof fuck for a week so I’ll be taking his place then you’d better be ready for the next one.”

“Yes Sir,” he didn’t cry. He’d been here before, been used by him before. He was honestly one of the smaller dicks he’d had up his ass, but he was rough. There’d be more bruises on his hips after this.

“And don’t think I’ll be cleaning this mess up neither.”

“No Sir.”

The pimp was pissed and he showed it. Erasyl’s hips ached from the grip and then angle he’d been pushed into. He bit his lip to keep quiet… If he didn’t, the cane came out. Once the pimp was done, he walked off to do whatever he did during the day. Erasyl dragged himself up and got something to wipe the oatmeal up, wondering if maybe he should just eat it off the floor so he’d have something in his stomach. He ended up with the spoon that had dropped, scooping up the tops of the larger clumps. The rest of it was covered in hair and dirt and, though he hated throwing it away, he just couldn’t quite bring himself to eat it either. He didn’t know where the egg was… the pimp probably ate it himself.

Once he was done cleaning the floor and carpet, he put the sheets on the bed and rushed to rinse off before the next client showed up. The day was… hell. Half the clients had brought him costumes… or scrapes of fabric that were supposed to look like something else. Some of them had dressed themselves in corresponding costumes. One in particular, the last one actually, was a school teacher. He’d come straight from work as usual and brought with him an altered girl’s school uniform. Or Erasyl assumed it’d been altered.

He couldn’t imagine girls his age wearing skirts that didn’t even cover their ass or have shirts small enough to only use one button up front.

The client was more than happy though, bending him over the desk and telling him what a naughty student he’d been. He was smacked with a cane a few times and made to beg to fuck the Alpha to ‘make up for it’. Erasyl was so terrified of the cane when he’d first seen it that it took a few moments to realize that the client wasn’t whaling on him as hard as he _could_ have. It still stung, but not nearly as bad as when he got hit with it by the pimp. The actual fucking was a wild, desperate thing, the Alpha rutting into him like an animal. He breathed a sigh of relief when he was finally knotted and it was over.

He stripped once he was free and the client left. There was a second to stretch before he stripped the bed and went to toss it in the washer. The pimp snarled at him, telling him to go shower before Mr. Khan showed up. Couldn’t show the boss a filthy trollop after all. Erasyl did as asked, cleaning himself out and making sure everything was clean. He was halfway through toweling his hair when the pimp showed back up.

“Hurry up! He wants to see you.”

His blood froze.

Mr. Khan wanted to see… _him_ …?

Sure he’d bathed just in case, but he hadn’t _actually_ expected to be seen.

Why?

What had he done?

Had someone complained?

He thought he’d been good enough for all of them… gave them all what they wanted…

The walk to the office was the worst experience he’d had in a long time. He remembered being tossed in front of the Khans before... after that terrible flight with the wall of Alpha. He remembered being looked at like a roach… like less than a roach really. The scent of all three Alphas in a small space had clogged his nose . He couldn’t remember if he’d actually pissed himself or if that had just been a nightmare about how it could have gone _worse_.

The dark-haired one sitting at the cluttered desk caught his attention first. He looked alot like the older Khan male with the dark hair and eyes but with pale skin instead of the darker tone like himself. It was eerie honestly, like looking at a ghost. He had no doubts that this was the Elliot Khan they’d been waiting for. Erasyl was confused by the Omega scent in the room. His pimp was Alpha and the large blond man leaning against the bookcase behind the desk was an Alpha… which meant Mr. Khan had to be the Omega… but he didn’t look like one… or at least not like the ones he vaguely remembered back home. Maybe England grew them taller here? He was pretty though despite the severe look on his face… prettier than Erasyl would ever be anyway.

The blond next to him was something to look at, all big and tall and, despite his pimp looking cowed by the desk, Erasyl didn’t feel _exactly_ as nervous as he was **sure** he should. He could _easily_ tear Erasyl to shreds, ruin him beyond repair. It was possibly the blue eyes that didn’t seem to have _that look_ to them like most of his clients. Maybe it was the Omega scent that clung to him or the fact that they were very clearly _together_. A pit formed in his stomach.

They weren’t looking for a threesome were they?

He’d done those before despite his body not being big enough to handle it yet. It hurt but he could do it. God why had he thought this would be different. They were just as bad - worse- than the big brute.

“Turn around,” the tone was cold, mildly impatient. Erasyl did, spinning in a slow circle with his hands laced behind his head, He wasn’t sure how they wanted his face though so he opted to raise his chin but keep his eyes on the floor, “Does he not have clothes,” Mr. Khan asked, sounding vaguely annoyed as he looked back down at whatever he’d been staring at on the desk.

“N-No sir,” the pimp stammered.

Mr. Khan looked up again, fixing the pimp with an unamused glare. He rested his elbows on the table, fingers laced together under his chin. He looked every bit the annoyed leader of an Empire, “Then _get_ him some.”

“Sir?”

“Get this child a _fucking_ jumper. **Do not** _make me_ ask _**again**_.”

Erasyl shivered at the tone, fighting to keep from shrinking in on himself. He hadn’t been given permission to move. They would be mad if he so much as shuffled his feet so he stayed as still as possible. He hadn’t felt _naked_ in so long that it was jarring to realize that he was… that he _had been_ for who knows how long. It’d been seasons since he’d last worn anything that a client hadn’t strapped onto him from the toy room or brought in themselves like they had today… and he supposed those things wouldn’t count. He didn’t wear them long anyway even if they could count.

The pimp rushed out, leaving him with the pair. Mr. Khan turned back to the desk and whatever was on it which looked like folders and papers. The Alpha moved around to drape what looked like an expensive sports jacket around Erasyl’s shoulders and then moved back to stand behind the Omega, reading over his shoulder. It looked like he might have laid a hand on Mr. Khan's back but Erasyl couldn’t really see and he honestly wasn’t that curious. His nose swam in the scent of Alpha from the jacket, his body shaking a little in the warmed material. The pimp came back, chucking a worn bit of clothing at him. Erasyl barely caught it and then stood there not knowing what to do. He hadn’t worn clothing of any kind for so long…

“Put it on.”

He didn’t know who made the order. He just heard the words and not the voice. He didn't know what to do with the jacket though, so he slipped it off and folded it, placing it between his knees so it didn’t touch the floor. The fabric of the jumper shifted as he pulled it over his head and then floundered a bit to get his arms in the sleeves. They seemed to go on forever until his hands popped out the ends. He felt ridiculous standing there in an overly large jumper that hung off his shoulders and down to his knees. The sleeves were much too long and he had some difficulty keeping them bunched at his elbows. He grabbed the jacket and held it in front of him.

“I see you’ve been cooking the books as it were,” the Omega, Mr. Khan, said as he flipped through things.

“Uh-I-”

“Taking a cut…? Making it seem as though the boy is worth less than he is… which _is_ **why** I’m here in the first place.”

Erasyl nearly gaped at his pimp.

Worth less than…

Were they going to make him serve more time?

“I’ve been through the accounts and I’m not happy. I’ll be taking the boy as planned and you’ll be getting out of town yes? I don’t want to see your face in this area again. In fact, let’s make it better. I don’t want the possibility of seeing you in _England_. Do I make myself clear?”

“Ye-Yes Sir, Mr Kha-.”

“d’Arbington,” came the icy reply, “I’m Mr. d’Arbington and you’ll do well to remember that.”

The blond Alpha moved and Erasyl tensed for the worst. He was wrapped up in the sports jacket again and swept off his feet. Erasyl struggled a little, not sure what was going on. Was he being sold? Why was he leaving? They said they were taking him but that hadn’t been real right? He couldn’t leave. What about his clients? They were sure to complain-

“Easy there, lad.”

His instincts went haywire.

Sure the tone was calm but it was an Alpha and Alphas lied something horrible to get what they wanted, but… his voice was so… _warm_ … and the way he held him… like he was something precious.

He hadn’t felt something like that since he was a child with his own father.

Not to mention the Omega, the _former_ Mr Khan, now Mr. d'Arbington apparently, was honestly scarier. The way he stared at the pimp was cold, ruthless… like he had the power of an army behind him but he just might gut the pimp himself _just because_. Or maybe he’d pimp out the pimp…

There was a novel thought.

The books were slammed shut and he lit a cigarette-

“Um, S-Sir,” the pimp stuttered, shuffling his feet.

“What,” the smoke trailed between lips like a dragon.

The pimp’s shoulders shook with a forced-back cough, “My asthma… the smoke, sir.”

Mr. d’Arbington stared at the pimp and took a pull, blowing the smoke right into his face, making the pimp cough and choke, “Does it?” The look the Omega gave the pimp was unnerving. Erasyl remembered the same look of disgust on Mrs. Khan’s face when she’d been told he wasn’t a virgin anymore.

_‘Just had to ruin another one, didn’t you, Richard?’_

“Are you uncomfortable?” the Omega asked, eyes boring into the pimp as he choked, “I hope so. Maybe you’ll understand how it made me uncomfortable to walk into this pigsty to do your job for you because you couldn’t do it correctly yourself. How my parents put up with you I’ll never know.”

The pimp shivered through his coughing.

“Why are you still here. Get out of my sight,” he snuffed the cigarette on one of the books, twisting the end and flicked it at the pimp who scurried out. He then grabbed a pile of files and stuffed them into a black soft briefcase, “Ready Ned?”

The tone was _**so**_ different it gave Erasyl whiplash. He couldn’t believe it was the same Omega talking. Mr. Kha- _d’Arbington_ had been so cold to the pimp, his expression bordering on disgust towards Erasyl and yet… yet this _Alpha_ received something that, while not necessarily warm, was definitely agreeable, a chilly affection with an underlying _something_.

“Ready, Eli,” the Alpha seemed vaguely amused though there was something sobering about it too. He shifted and handed a small bottle of something to the Omega who popped it open and casually dumped it all over the desk, soaking the files he didn’t pick up. Mr. d’Arbington then went to the pimp’s liquor cabinet and grabbed a few bottles, unending them all over the room, splashing them up the walls. He grabbed a few more and they all moved to the living room. The Alpha- _Ned_ stood by the door, still holding Erasyl as the Omega traveled the house, letting the bottles spill on the floor one by one and dropping them as they emptied. He came back and ripped the decorative bookcase from its place on the wall. It fell with a crash, the little bits of knickknack scattering over the floor. He fished for another cigarette, took an inhale and flicked it into the house as they walked out into the night air, securing the door behind them.

It was cold comparatively. He honestly couldn’t remember the last time he'd been outside or even looked outside. The heavy drapes over the windows were never open for the extra level of security for the clients and he hadn’t had the urge to peek in a long time. What was the point of looking if he’d never know what the white stuff felt like? Now though… he could see the fading light of the sun, the sky lit up in fading brilliant colors and the teasing of a misty circle...

It was absolutely beautiful.

The Alpha chuckled, “It’s a pretty sight isn’t it? A full moon tonight.”

Erasyl glanced up at the Alpha, at the clear blue eyes that seemed nothing but kind. It felt wrong to think that of someone knowing what he knew about Alphas. There was no way this one was this genuine, this _nice_. The other shoe would fall eventually. They’d want something for all of this and he had to be ready for it.

“Here,” Mr. d’Arbington pulled out a few items from the car. Erasyl was helped into a pair of too-large joggers and a set of slide-on shoes that seemed a little big. It all felt so foreign to him, almost _heavy_. A hooded jumper was held up, “Would you like this one or the one you’re wearing?”

Erasyl’s fingers clung to the long sleeves, the scent of his pimp both nauseating yet comforting. He wasn’t a good man but he was all Erasyl had known for years. To suddenly have _nothing_ familiar was… _daunting_. He was also scared that he was taking too long to answer, that they’d get annoyed with him for thinking at all, “Um-...”

The jumper was somewhat folded and held out to him, “In case you change your mind.”

Mr. d’Arbington’s voice was… like when he’d spoken to the blond Alpha. It wasn’t particularly warm, but it lacked the harshness from when he’d been in the house. Erasyl slowly reached for it, bringing it close, “Thank you.” It didn’t smell like much, possibly new which blew his mind. Why would they spend any money on him?

Unless…

A distant scream made him realize that the pimp’s car was still parked. The house had gone up fast, the front window drapes being eaten by the fire. He felt bad about the fish, hoping they went quickly.

“Time to go,” the Alpha, Ned, opened the back door and Erasyl slipped inside, winced as his bruised ass touched the seat. The pair got in, Mr. d’Arbington slamming his abit, and they drove off. Erasyl turned, looking out the back window at the burning house, waiting to see the pimp. He never showed up and Erasyl turned around again once he couldn’t see the house anymore.

The Alpha-Ned’s arm was reached across the center of the car and there was some sort of noise coming from somewhere which Ned was copying. Erasyl didn’t know what was going on, but the pair up front seemed happy enough. The car continued to move, ending up on a busy road with alot of other cars.

“May I ask something?” he winced, wondering if they’d get mad at him for that.

“Of course,” the Alpha-Ned replied.

“...Where are we going…?”

“We’re going home… London.”


	3. Chapter 3

Erasyl’s not sure how long they’re in the car. It doesn’t feel like much time though he realises that they’ve traveled awhile. Everything looked very different and he was a little ashamed that he tucked his nose into the jumper just to get a scent of something familiar. The roads got busier until they didn’t and they pulled up to a nice looking house. Mr. d’Arbington got out first, grabbing his briefcase and closed the door, a hand going for his pocket to pull out some keys.

Ned turned around with a soft grin, “Here we are. Ready to go inside?”

No.

He wasn’t ready.

He’d never be ready.

He wanted to go home, back to what he knew.

He wanted his pallet on the floor and his two meals a day and the aquarium of fish.

But they weren’t here.

And this house was.

And Ned expected him to go inside.

He glanced out the window to see Mr. d’Arbington still standing there, keys in hand, as though he were waiting for something. Ersyl’s heart sank. Was he waiting for him? Was Erasyl making Mr. d’Arbington wait? He snatched the hooded jumper and scrambled out of the car and then stood there with his head down.

“Are you ok?” the Omega asked. Erasyl just nodded. Ned came around the car and the trio headed up to the house. The door was unlocked and Mr. d’Arbington walked on through, disappearing somewhere inside. Erasyl slowly followed, looking at everything yet trying not to stare. It looked nice… he supposed. It was nicer than the pimp’s house or the vague fuzzy memories of where his parents lived. The only place nicer was where he’d met the Khans.

Ned gave him a quick tour, ending in a part of the house where there was some sort of metal caging and a small wooden house. He frowned a little, having no idea why something like that would exist in a house. Two fluffy things with long ears moved around the pen. He couldn’t remember seeing anything like them before.

“Aren’t they cute?”

“What are they?”

“They are rabbits,” he bent, picking one up and holding it for Erasyl to see up close. It stared at him, nose twitching. Erasyl glanced up at Ned and who smiled at him and nodded a little. He touched a fingertip to the rabbit’s head, lightly petting the spot between its ears, “This is Dandelion. Say ‘hi’ Dandelion. This is Erasyl,” Ned then wiggled the rabbit, his voice pitching oddly, “ _Hello Erasyl. It’s a nice place isn’t it_?”

Erasyl wasn’t sure what he should do… or think… It was _very_ weird.

“ _Ned_!” Mr. d’Arbinton yelled from elsewhere in the house, “ _Stop being odd! You’ll scare him!_ ”

Ned gasped, “I would never, “ and held Dandelion so he was eye-to-eye with the rabbit, “The things he accuses me of, Dandelion. It’s rubbish, all of it. _Of course it is_. That’s what I thought,” he put the rabbit back and Erasyl had to wonder what he’d been brought into. Maybe the Alpha was that nice because he wasn’t right in the head.

That would make sense.

Why else would an Alpha like him do something like that?

_“Alright! Come on up!”_

Ned led the way up the staircase and on to a room. There was a bed and a dresser and a desk with a chair and not much else. It didn’t seem to be anyone’s in particular given the lack of… personality. It reminded him of his room back with the pimp though definitely not as shabby.

“Here’s where you’ll be staying,” Mr. d’Arbington said as he dropped a small pile of fabric on the bed, “There’s clean sheets on the bed and clothes for sleeping. Our room is next door if something happens in the middle of the night. Are you hungry?”

He felt his stomach clench in hopes of food, but he was already taking too much from them. He’d rather go hungry then owe them more, so he shook his head, “I’m fine… just tired...”

“There’s a loo down the hall. Towels in the cupboard if you’d like a shower and a spare toothbrush and toothpaste under the sink. The bottles in the shower are new too,” Mr. d’Argbington said and left the room.

“If you need something, let us know. We’re either downstairs or next door,” Ned added and followed his Omega out of the room. The door was left open a crack and he heard them on the stairs. Neither of them said anything until they were downstairs proper and all Erasyl heard was echoes of conversation.

Erasyl looked around, noting everything where it was… not he’d planned on moving anything. The bed was bigger than the one he was used to using. He hadn’t been given permission to use it though. He wasn’t allowed to use a bed without a client… unless it was for his nap but this wasn’t that.

He picked a spot on the rug and laid the hooded jumper down flat before curling up on it. His legs pulled up to his chest, inside the jumper he wore and he pulled his arms in, leaving the sleeves limp. It wasn’t the warmest but he wasn’t freezing so it was ok.

Sleep didn’t come easy. There were too many new smells and noises. The familiar gurgling from the fish tank wasn’t there to soothe him to sleep. He heard when the pair came back upstairs for bed. What sleep he did get was fitful and he heard when the pair got up in the morning.

Mr. d’Arbington opened the door, “Era-” he paused and stared at Erasyl on the floor, “... Um… What do you normally eat for breakfast.”

“Oa-oatmeal… and a hardb-boiled egg.”

Mr. d’Arbington nodded, “Alright,” he offered half a smile, “Let’s go see what we can do.”

He followed the older Omega downstairs to the kitchen where he was sat in a chair. It was a little odd to watch his feet swing under the glass table, but he preferred that to watching the pair move around the kitchen. They chatted with each other with the soft clattering of utensils breaking up the noise coming from speakers. Ned occasionally talked or sang or whatever along with it.

“Could you find one that’s _not_ about cunts?” Mr. d’Arbington’s nose wrinkled during one. The music changed to something that sounded similar but was apparently ok.

“I still think we should’ve gone a full English,” Ned said.

“And his stomach wouldn’t handle it,” Mr. d’Arbington replied as he placed a bowl of oatmeal in front of him, “Give him some time. Then you can spoil him and he won’t vomit on the floor because his stomach can’t handle much more than fucking toast.” a plate of something fluffy was placed next to his bowl, a few fingers rested on the back of his neck in a soft caress, “These are scrambled, not hard-boiled, but they’re still eggs. Is that ok?” Erasyl nodded jerkily, “Alright. Eat up.”

Two more bowls and plates were set down at two of the other places and Erasyl was speechless when the pair settled down to eat… what he was eating… they hadn’t made something else or ordered delivery as the pimp had so often. They didn’t make him eat alone… No, they sat down like they were equals or something and ate the same food he did.

When he was mostly done, Mr. d’Arbington placed some files and a pad of paper on the table. It felt… well he wanted to hide honestly.

“Do you mind if we ask you a few questions?”

Erasyl had a feeling it wasn’t _really_ a question and shook his head, the eggs turning to ash in his mouth.

Here it was… whatever _it_ was. He didn't know what to expect, just that something would happen and this was it. They had fed him and let him sleep… and now they were coming for their payment or maybe this was about why he’d been taken from his pimp in the first place. Mr. d’Arbington **had** said that they were there to take him-

“Your name is Erasyl?” he nodded when Mr. d’Arbington didn’t continue, “Is that one they gave you or your own?”

“...Mine.”

“Do you know what your last name is? All this says is ‘N’ and that doesn’t help me.”

Erasyl’s brows creased… He knew he had one… He just… couldn’t remember what it was… It hadn’t mattered for so long… Still… he should know it _right_? He was… He was Erasyl… Na… Ni… Ni…

Nothing came to him.

He was Erasyl...

 **Just** Erasyl.

He sniffed a little, surprised that he was crying about it, and shook his head.

There was a pause, a brief intake of air akin to a gasp… and then the room settled with just him being pathetic, “This file they have on you says you’re from Kazakhstan?”

He sort of nodded, “Almaty.”

“You have family there?”

He shrugged, “I don’t know… I haven’t been there in a long time.”

The Omega nodded and put the file down, “We’ll look into it.”

“Please don’t hurt them!” he wanted to kick himself for the outburst.

This wouldn't end well...

A dark brow cocked, “ _Whhyy_ would I hurt them…?”

“Because I’m no good,” Erasyl replied, feeling desperate. If he was going to be disciplined anyway, he might as well say his piece, “That’s why I’m here isn’t it? Because someone complained. You’re pulling me from service. Please! Tell me what I did wrong! Give me another chance! I’ll do it right this time!”

The look he got was stunned, maybe horrified but it _could_ have been disgust. He wasn’t sure and his eyes were watery so he couldn’t see well.

“Jesus, what’d they do to him?” Ned sounded aghast.

“Please… I’ll do it right…” he felt the tears drip down his face. The urge to wipe them away was there but he resisted. The wall of Khan Alpha had liked to see him cry… maybe Mr. d’Arbington would too… They were siblings after all. How different could they be?

“There’s nothing you need to do,” came the reply. It wasn’t cold… or warm… it was… It was void of everything and somehow that was worse. “We’re simply trying to fill in some of the gaps. That fucker wasn’t particularly thorough with your information… I can’t even properly tell how you’d been there.”

Long enough… too long… He had appointments today… They’d get mad… They’d complain…

“We can’t even tell if any of the fuckers had AIDS,” the Omega went on, sounding peeved.

“Well we can find that out can’t we?” Ned seemed to smile a little and Mr. d’Arbington paused before nodding.

“You think he’d do it?”

“If **I’m** the one asking,” Ned grinned and stood as he dialed a number before walking around the kitchen, “Simon!” Ned grinned wider and paused as he listened to the other end, “Yes listen… I have something that needs looked at… It’s a kid. He’s staying with us for awhile, but he wouldn’t do well getting seen in hospital… No nothing like that… I have reason to believe that he hasn’t seen one in awhile and he probably should… Today if possible. We have some paperwork to file and the sooner the exam is done the better…” his face lit up in that polite happiness, “Fantastic! We’ll be waiting.” he hung up, “Give him a few hours and he’ll be over.”

Mr. D’Arbington nodded, “Good. I’ll fill some of this out. Erasyl?”

He squeaked a little.

“Why don’t you go take a shower? You’ll probably feel better.”

Erasyl knew a dismissal when he heard one and slunk off upstairs to the bathroom he’d presumably been assigned. He froze when he got there, not believing what he was seeing. There was no way this was a bathroom… they didn’t look this _nice_. He couldn’t see any mold or stains or anything anywhere. The crisp steel blue walls and grey countertops that were dotted in blacks and browns. Everything was so _clean_ he felt dirty just standing there.

He slowly took his clothes off and eventually figured out how to turn the shower on. It got too hot too fast and he scrambled to try and lower it some all the while his head spun at just _how_ shower water got **that** hot. There were containers of different types of wash sitting in a pair of cubbies. He took a tiny squirt of the one labeled ‘ _shampoo_ ’ and used half of it in his hair and tried to get the rest to spread over the rest of him. How well that worked, he wasn’t sure but he didn’t want to owe them even more. He was already taking their water and their food…

The towels were fluffy and sinfully soft. He honestly hadn’t felt anything so nice on his skin ever and crouched on the cool tile floor with the towel around him just to stretch it out. When he couldn’t justify it anymore, he hung it up and got dressed again and went downstairs where Ned let him play with the bunnies. He honestly didn’t know what to do with them, scared to death that he’d do something wrong and hurt them. Ned just showed him how to handle them and he went from there.

Before long, there was a knock at the door and Ned got up to answer it. He heard another voice and the scent of a second Alpha in the house. Mr. d‘Arbington’s voice joined them and soon enough all three sets of footsteps made their way for him. Ned appeared first and gestured for Erasyl to join them. All four went upstairs to a different bedroom and Erasyl was sat on the bed.

“Good afternoon,” the smaller Alpha smiled, pushing the glasses up on his nose, “Dr. Simon Walker.”

“E-Erasyl.”

He glanced up at Mr. d’Arbington who seemed to be in charge of this… whatever this was… “So what are we looking at then?”

“Just a general exam with extra tests. We don’t have detailed records for him, just a first name and some dates for things to give us a general idea on age,” Mr. d’Arbington replied.

“Why don’t you- Where are his parents?”

“We’re trying to find them… He was trafficked.”

The tone in the room shifted.

“Ah… Have you contacted the Met?”

“Not yet.”

“Elliot-”

“Can you do the exam or no.”

The Alpha heaved a sigh, not happy, “I can. I just need to know that the Met will be contacted. I could get in trouble for doing this and not alerting authorities… get my license revoked-”

“We’ll take care of any of that,” Mr. d’Arbington replied, “We want to make sure he’s ok or, if he’s not, what it is and if it’s treatable. We’re already looking for his parents. If we do, they’ll need to know if something’s wrong with him.”

_Wrong with him…_

How broken was he?

“And if you don’t? If you don’t find them, what then?”

“We’re working on alternative plans,” Ned replied and for some reason that seemed to placate the other Alpha, “but our hope is to find his parents within the next couple of weeks.”

“Just enough time for all the tests to come back,” Mr. d’Arbington added.

The doctor nodded, “Alright. So what are we thinking?”

“A full workup. Test for everything. I don’t know what all they did to him and I didn’t see anything to suggest the clients had to bring in clean bills of health so…”

“Clients…?” blond brows furrowed.

“Yes… _clients_. There were a substantial number.”

The Alpha’s mouth opened, “...This really seems like something you should go to the Met with and get a rape kit done.”

Mr. d’Arbington was losing patience and glanced at him, “Didn’t you shower last night? Before you met us?”

Erasyl nodded, “Yes Sir… and… e-earlier... too.”

“So clearly there’s _nothing_ those-”

“We don’t see how the Met would help _right_ at this moment,” Ned cut him off with a smile, “Right this moment, we need to see to Erasyl… and that’s something you can do… _right_ …?”

The doctor looked like he was sucking on his tongue for a moment, “So _everything_.”

Mr. d’Arbington nodded.

He heaved a sigh, “Alright… How old are we thinking?”

“The best I can figure is somewhere between thirteen and fifteen.”

The Alpha looked at him, “Alright, Erasyl?” Erasyl shifted, glancing up long enough to make eye contact then looked down, “Do you know how old you are?” Erasyl shook his head, “Have you been in heat before…?” He shook his head again, not even completely sure what he’d meant by ‘be in heat’. Was it an illness?

"Do you mind if I touch you?"

Erasyl glanced at Mr. d’Arbington and then back at the doctor, "I suppose not… is there a particular fantasy you would like? Or just have me-"

Apparently that was the wrong thing to ask.

The doctor sputtered, "No! Not like that… fuck… I need to examine you… make sure you're not hurt."

"Oh."

He wasn’t sure what the difference was but apparently there was one. Ned left the room and Mr. d’Arbington hung back, giving the illusion of privacy without leaving him alone with the Alpha. The doctor snapped on a pair of latex gloves, the sound something he didn’t care for despite not being sure if he’d ever actually heard the sound before.

It was weird… being touched like that. He’d been touched everywhere the doctor was… but there was a distinct coolness about it, a detachment that Erasyl found _very_ unsettling. All those horrible things those Alphas had done to him seemed like nothing compared to what he was feeling with this man whose gloved hands skimmed and felt up his limbs and his body, checked his ‘vitals’ like he was an animal being sold. Even when he was where he was used to being, on his back with his legs spread, it came with a petrifying dread that had his heart beating so hard and so fast he was sure they heard it. At least with the others, he knew they wanted to be there, that he made them feel good even if he didn’t.

This… nobody seemed to enjoy this.

This seemed pointless and, despite the doctor telling what he was doing and why, still seemed… just awful.

He was ‘swabbed’ quite a few times then made to piss in a cup. After that, the doctor took blood, filling a bunch of vials which made him feel a little dizzy. Mr. d’Arbington brought him a biscuit and a mug of something hot and sweet when they were done. He burned his tongue on the first sip… but it tasted… He’d never had something so good before… It _almost_ made up for what he’d just had done to him. A hand laid on his back, giving it a slight rub and stayed there for a moment. Erasyl wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do with that but Mr. d’Arbington stayed put for a little bit while the doctor finished up labeling things.

“Alright. I’ll get these tested then we’ll see where we are.”

“Thank you Simon,” Mr. d’Arbington replied.

“I still think you should go to the Met with this. Child trafficking and prostiution is a serious thing.”

“They will be…” came the cool reply and the doctor left the room. Ned's voice echoed from downstairs and the front door closed after a moment. His footsteps came up the stairs right after and he paused in the doorway. Nobody said a word for a moment.

“You really think he’ll keep quiet…?” Mr. d’Arbington finally asked.

“If he knows what’s good for him,” Ned replied easily.

The Omega nodded and turned to Erasyl, “Are you ok? How are you doing…? That was… alot.”

“Oh…” Erasyl looked down at his half filled mug, feeling put on the spot… vulnerable… probably a little violated… “I’m… ok.”

“Would you like to go play with the rabbits? Or would you rather lay down…?”

Erasyl hunched in on himself, “Rabbits please.”

So they ended up downstairs with both bunnies hopping around on the floor. Papers and a laptop were spread over the coffee table as Mr. d’Arbington worked on something. Ned split his attention between Erasyl and rabbits and helping with whatever was going on with the laptop. Mr. d’Arbington gets up at one point, his phone to his ear, as he leaves the room talking with someone named ‘Alexis’ whoever that was.

Food was delivered for dinner and Ned turned on the TV to watch something called rugby. Erasyl was very confused by the whole thing and Mr. d’Arbington didn’t give it any attention, merely grunting when Ned would cheer about something or whine about ‘a bullshit call, Ref!’ who was apparently a powerful person. He felt bad for Ref though if he was making what he assumed to be wrong decisions. He should probably get on that if he didn’t want to be fired.

That night had him following Mr. d’Arbington upstairs to his room where the older Omega turned the bed down, “Here you are. I don’t want to see you sleeping on the floor again, you hear?” his tone wasn’t harsh but Erasyl inwardly panicked at being chastised. “We have a bed in here and you _are_ allowed to use it.” Erasyl nodded and accepted the clothes handed to him. Mr. d’Arbington seemed to pause for a moment… like maybe he wanted to say something else… but he didn’t… and he left, pausing by the door, “Let us know if you need something.”

“Ok.”

The door closed and Erasyl was left alone, holding clothes he _assumed_ he was meant to wear. They were soft and kinda fluffy on the inside. It felt odd to wear them...and even more odd to slide into the bed without having been fucked on it.

Unless they were just waiting… maybe they wanted to make sure he wasn’t sick first…

That had to be it.

The next couple of days passed like the first though without the doctor. Ned was gone for alot of the third day, leaving Erasyl alone in the house with Mr. d’Arbington who seemed more interested in his work. Erasyl was fine with that. He’d gotten used to playing with the rabbits and prefered their company honestly… especially when Mr. d’Arbington seemed to get more and more annoyed at something. Erasyl heard him talking aggressively into the phone at one point, trying to sink into the floor as the older Omega stalked into the room to rifle through the papers on the coffee table.

“Check again! There **has** to be _something_ -!” He paused then growled a little, “There can’t be _**nothing**_. There’s no way they scrubbed the fucking database!”

The rabbits had bolted into their cage, leaving Erasyl wishing that he had one. Mr. d’Arbington paid him no mind and walked off, still ranting at whoever had pissed him off. Ned showed up shortly after that and defused whatever had gone on. The house went quiet for a bit and then Ned reappeared.

“Hey? Erasyl? Can you come here?”

He assumed that wasn’t really a request and followed Ned into an office that looked like something had attacked it. Mr. d’Arbington sat in the chair, head in his hands. He heaved a sigh and finally looked up. His face was drawn… tired… angry…

Ned smiled, “We needed to talk with you about something ok?”

Erasyl nodded.

Mr. d’Arbington dropped his hands onto the desk, “I’ve been all over everything I can look into and… I couldn’t find you.”

Erasyl’s stomach dropped, “What? What do you mean?”

The Omega didn’t sound happy, “According to Kazahkstani records, you don’t exist. Everything down to birth records have been scrubbed from their systems.”

The world spun.

No record of him…?

How?

He knew he was Kazakh. He’d grown up speaking Russian… still might be able to stumble his way through it if he needed to. He was… he was…

No record of him…

“What… what does that mean…?”

“That’s what we wanted to talk to you about,” the Omega said in what sounded him trying to be comforting, “Ned and I have talked about it and we think it’d be best if-”

-if they got rid of him… because he was useless.

“Please don’t toss me out!”

They couldn’t toss him out on the streets! He’d do anything to sleep inside at night. He’d already taken so much from them and now they were going to kick him out-

Black brows creased together, “We-”

“I’ll work! I promise! I can pay my way. I’m good at what I do! Please!”

“Lad-” the Alpha’s hand touched his shoulder.

Erasyl flinched for half a second before turning to the Alpha, running his hands up the firm chest, “Give me a chance! _Please_! I'll be good for you.“ and down to palm him through his trousers.

“Hey!” the Alpha half-yelped half-snarled as he jumped back, large hand swallowing Erasyl’s wrist, keeping it away from him like Erasyl was diseased. The Omega growled at the same time and Erasyl knew he’d fucked up. He dropped to the floor, feeling his shoulder wrench a little as he knelt like he’d been taught.

“The fuck, Elliot? What the fuck did they do to him?” the Alpha sounded upset and Erasyl withered. His wrist was let go and he brought it around behind his back. He was going to be kicked or something… probably tossed out on his face. The pair were together. **Of course** they wouldn’t want his grubby hands all over them. They probably thought he was disgusting.

To be fair… he _was_ disgusting.

Nobody could service that many dicks and not be.

Hell, they were still waiting for the test results from that doctor guy.

What had he been _thinking_?

Mortified tears dripped into the carpet. He wasn’t worth them, but he couldn't help it. He was a complete fuck up… couldn’t stop fucking up the good things he had-

“Look at me,” the Omega crooned a little, his voice right above Erasyl’s head. It still sounded a little icy, but seemed to be as gentle as he could get.

Erasyl looked up, eyes swimming in tears, “I’m so sorry! Don’t kick me out… Please… Don’t… I-” he sobbed, curling up on the floor.

A hand touched his back, thumb rubbing against his spine, “Hey… We’re not kicking you out.”

He sniffled, feeling his nose clog up, “Yo-you’re n-not…?”

“No,” the hand touched his hair, “Ned and I would actually like you to stay with us if you want.”

He slowly looked up, not believing a word of it, “And?”

“We’ll have documents made up: birth certificates, adoption papers, everything you need to live normal.”

“And in exchange,” here it was… the catch… not that he had much choice. He’d do it either way.

“Nothing. You’ll grow up here. We’ll get you tutors for now and you’ll go to school if and when you’re ready, find a few interests. There’s alot out there for you to discover… We have the means to show you as much if it as we can.”

He blinked. That wasn’t right. People just didn’t do things like that without getting something in return. “What do you want from me?”

“We want you to live a happy life. We want you to learn things, discover everything you couldn’t before. What my parents did to you was awful. It’s only right that I try to make up for it and… since we can’t find your parents, the next best thing is offer you a place here where we know you’ll be safe. We’d like to give you that room and help you fill it with things you like.... We want you around, Erasyl.”

“You… you **want** me…? Knowing… what I am… knowing I could be sick…? I-” he couldn’t believe it… there was no fucking way these seemingly nice people would just accept someone like him into their nice clean house with their adorable bunnies and-

“Yes,” the pair said simultaneously.

“If you don’t want to stay, then we can get in touch with DfE and they’ll place you in another home,” the Omega said.

“But we would like you to stay,” the Alpha offered a smile and slowly reached for a hand, giving it a gentle squeeze, “Our house is too big for just the two of us. Help us fill it?”

Well… how could he refuse that?

They’d done so much for him… and to request that he stay… like his opinion _mattered_ … like his wants were important… He felt overwhelmed, almost in tears. A little something nudged his leg. He looked down and saw one of the bunnies. It put both paws on his leg, sniffing him and then looked up with its cute bunny face and licked its nose. Erasyl made some noise, he wasn’t sure what but it sort of sounded like a wounded animal, and picked up the bunny and cuddled it before looking up at the pair, tears starting to run down his face. Elliot smiled and wrapped an arm around him, pulling him close and surrounding him in warmth. Ned hugged all of them and the paired scents eased him like nothing had for a long time.

“Welcome home, Erasyl.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DfE - Department of Education aka what came up when I googled 'Child protective services in Britain'


	4. Chapter 4

It takes two more days before the doctor calls Ned to tell him they have the results of his tests. He was already gone for the day though and called Elliot who’d passed it on. They were seated in the hospital about an hour later. Erasyl curled up on his chair, wrapped up in a new coat they’d given him yesterday. It was a little big but it was fine. They said it was so he could grow into it. He wasn’t sure if he would but the extra room was nice either way. It wasn’t as constricting as track pants he was also wearing.

The sights and sounds of being outside was… alot. It’d been odd enough the night they took him from the pimp. Daylight was something else entirely. So many people doing so many things at once. The cars… so many cars going every which way. He’d clung to Elliot in the halls and in the car Elliot called a cab, afraid that if he let go at all that he’d be swept away in it all. Elliot let him, wrapping an arm around him a couple of times when his breathing got hurried, irregular, and he felt like he might pass out He still wasn’t as warm as Ned but there was something about him that made people move, made people do things. It might have been interesting to watch if he hadn’t been more or less terrified of everything.

They only waited about five minutes before being shown to an office of sorts. The doctor was busy with what looked like paperwork on his computer. He looked up as Eliot walked in right after him and offered a smile.

“There we are? Please,” he gestures to the seats across from him, “How are we today?”

“Well enough,” Elliot answers which Erasyl is grateful for. He doesn't really want to talk to the doctor, nice as he _might_ be. Their first meeting wasn’t exactly roses and he feels awkward knowing that the man across from him has seen literally everything he has to offer.

_‘What fantasy would you like?’_

_‘What? No!’_

He inwardly shudders at the embarrassment.

He wants to go ho- back to the house.

Elliot folds his hands, looking very much in charge, “Ned said you had our results…”

“Yes! Yes,” he types some and then spins in his chair to grab a file and drops it on the desk, “Most everything came back fine. He’s a little undernourished but that will be cleared up soon enough now that he’ll be eating properly. Mildly anemic but it’s nothing an iron supplement won’t cure and it might fix itself now that he’s being fed like he should. The big things are that he has trichomoniasis and syphilis. Both are treatable STDs and caught early so it shouldn’t be too hard to kick them. They only came up in the tests and I didn’t see anything when I was examining him,” he looked at Erasyl, “Have you been feeling odd or noticed anything odd?”

“I’m tired and my joints ache some,” he mumbles.

“Could be the syphilis or could be a growth spurt. Either way, we’ll give you a shot in the ass and that should clear that up. I’ll give you another prescription for antibiotics for the trich and you just have to follow the directions for that. I’ll want to see you again in ten days just to make sure we got it all.”

Erasyl nodded to himself, curling inward. He felt dirty knowing that he was diseased. Would Elliot and Ned not want him now? Knowing he was sick?

"I'll make that appointment later," Elliot replied and turned to Erasyl, "Let's get your shot yea? Then we'll go for ice cream or something?"

Erasyl sort of nodded and the doctor left for a moment. He fiddled with his fingers, twisting them around each other until they hurt. Elliot doesn’t say a word, just lets an arm hang over the armrest toward him. It’s an open gesture, a little comforting… maybe.

The doctor comes back with a tiny plastic bin. He sets it down, “Let’s get this over with shall we?” and snaps a pair of gloves on.

Erasyl jolts and almost runs for the door. Elliot squeezes his forearm, staring at him intently for a moment until he calms down, and then steps away. Erasyl breathed, feeling miserable. It only took a moment, a cold swab of alcohol and a prick of a needle, but it still felt like a lifetime. But then it was done and Elliot was handed paper with a prescription on it and the older Omega gave an offhand wave as he guided Erasyl out of the room and back to the car.

The medicine was picked up and they stopped for ice cream… though that was an event. Erasyl didn’t have a clue what he wanted, not remembering if he’d even had this before. He end up with something plain and little bits of things, just enough to get a taste of the few toppings he’d thought looked interesting. It’s interesting. He’s not sure he likes it… maybe he’ll get used to it later. Not today… It was too much new too soon and he just wanted home. Elliot realized he was uncomfortable and gets a cab for the house. The car’s still not there so Ned’s not back yet.

Elliot unlocks the door and heads for the kitchen, “Are you hungry?”

Erasyl shook his head and trudged up the stairs. Cuddling the bunnies might help, but he just wants to be alone for awhile. Once in the room he closed the door and hunkered down in a most hidden corner. Nothing felt right anymore. There was something wrong with him… something was wrong and Elliot acted like it was nothing. He had to have medication for it but apparently it didn’t mean a thing to Elliot who just carried on like everything was normal.

But it wasn’t.

It wasn’t fine.

Erasyl was diseased… sick… from something he couldn’t have helped. After everything they’d done to him… one would think enough was enough… but apparently not. Apparently there was more for him to suffer through… just something else wrong with him.

He felt the urge to cry… but was too numb to. Crying wouldn’t solve anything anyway. He wouldn’t magically not be sick because he cried. All it’d do is tire him out and make him more ugly than he already was. That’s what the pimp had said anyway…

_‘Nobody gon wanna fuck ya if you look all ghastly.’_

Better to swallow all of it… pretend it didn’t happen tomorrow.

The shadows and sunlight sift across the floor and he sits there. He’s not sure how long he’s been there. It doesn’t matter though. He’d just take up space downstairs… distract Elliot from whatever he’s been doing during the day with his laptop and papers.

The knock on the door is surprising as is the sight of Elliot as he apparently eases into the room, coming around the bed looking for him, “There you are,” He gestures at the floor with the hand that’s not carrying something, “Mind if I?”

Erasyl shook his head, curling into himself tighter.

Elliot settled down, back pressed against the wall opposite him and uncapped a bottle of clear liquid. He took a long swig of it and held it out. Erasyl hesitantly reached for it and sniffed the top. It burned his nose.

“Is this alcohol?”

“Vodka.”

“Am I allowed to have this…?”

The faintest smile made Elliot’s lips twitch, “I won’t tell if you don’t.”

Erasyl stared at the bottle and… slowly… brought it up. The taste was awful. He made a face and handed it back. Elliot didn’t say anything, just took another swallow and held it out again. They sat in silence for a few minutes, passing it back and forth.

“Why are you here.”

“Because being alone sucks,” Elliot replied and the following silence dragged.

Erasyl clung to the bottle, not drinking it, just… staring… “I’ve been alone for most of my life… It’s all I know.”

“You don’t have to be.”

He looked up to find Elliot staring into the middle space. There was a heaviness in his face that Erasyl recognized… but it was the same one he’d seen on himself. What could have possibly happened to Elliot _**Khan**_ to give him that expression.

He was a **Khan**.

He probably had the world handed to him on a diamond-encrusted gold platter… waited on hand and foot because, even though he was an Omega, he was a _**Khan**_ Omega.

“I get it.”

“No you don’t.”

Elliot took a _long_ swig and then let the bottle hang from loose fingers, “Did you know I had my first heat when I was thirteen?”

The fuck…?

“It wasn’t really… just the start of it. This cute little Alpha boy at a party… I wondered what it’d be like to kiss him and well… My brother got jealous.”

Erasyl’s brows creased, not knowing what 'heat' was or where this was going.

“He raped me… called me a whore… did it for years. You see this?” he pulled the collar of his shirt to show off his tattoo and pressed on the skin. Erasyl squinted and moved to see what he was supposed to see. It took a second but picked out the last of an old bond bite through the ink. Erasyl’s eyes bugged. There was no fucking way- “He told me I was his from the start. Even as kids… It was alright growing up. I could count on him to take care of the monsters in my room or to let me sleep with him in his bed if he didn’t feel like it… and it was ok… until that first heat. After that I realized what he’d really meant and it fucked me up. I couldn’t even really see my feelings for Ned until he wasn’t there anymore.”

“What happened to him?”

“He died.” his voice dropped, got firmer… stating facts without feeling, “I laced his coke with arsenic I made myself and then let the wild wolfdogs he kept in the garden into the house while the rest were gone. They chewed him up, tore him apart, and that was that. Serves him right after what he did to my Nelly.”

Erasyl had a feeling… and he didn’t like it, “Who’s Nelly?”

“She was my first rabbit… Ned gave her to me before he went off to the Paras… told me she was so I wouldn’t forget him,” he huffed a laugh, “Like I could’ve anyway…”

“What happened to her…?”

“Richard got jealous of her… tore her up and chased me around with the pieces.”

Erasyl’s body jerked with a chill at the thought of Dandelion… well he didn’t really have a frame of reference for what Elliot was describing. It didn’t sound good though and Nelly was very clearly dead. Elliot was still sad about it too so it _had_ to be bad.

“I hated him for that… Didn’t tell Ned till years later… even lied to him about it… told him the foxes got to her.”

There was a pause.

“Did you… did you tell Ned how you felt after that? After your brother… died…?”

Elliot shook his head, “Not for a long time after… I was so used to fighting my feelings that I couldn’t see past it… He was still in the Paras for awhile after that anyway… and when he came back… I just…” Elliot sighed, “and then I went to Russia for a month… spent most of it in hospital.”

“ _Fuck_.”

“It was a match our parents made… All he had to do was let me go home in one piece… so he raped me, raped me with his cousin, both their dicks up my arse. He dumped a can of dog food on the floor and spunked on it… then made me eat it,” Erasyl felt sick, “When I’d had enough, I tried to stab him in his sleep. He caught me and beat me. I woke up in hospital a week later… spent the next two weeks there until I was to go home. I spent the next two years in a fever dream trying to find a way to keep the bonding from happening. Then Connor showed up and… well I made some mistakes. Things worked out in the end, my parents died and Dmitri ended up in prison and then found murdered in a rather grizzled fashion… but I lost a year with them, my friends… Ned. They were pissed at what I’d done and I couldn't blame them. I ran without giving them an explanation or even a goodbye. I fucked up… honestly never expected to see them, much less speak to them ever again. Ned found me though... left a note and… that’s what gave me the courage to come back and explain myself. Well him and Connor. Connor helped alot. Things are ok now but…” he trailed off, lost in memories.

“I’m sorry.”

He blinked, dark eyes shifting to Erasyl, “Why?”

“Because that’s awful.”

“Yea… and so’s what you went through. It’s ok to be in pain… Just know that you’re not alone. My experience wasn’t yours but… I get it.”

“I just feel so gross… and empty.”

“I know. It goes away in time if you let it. If it wasn’t for Ned… I’d still be bitter and angry at the world… but he loves me…” he put the bottle down and turned a little to look Erasyl square in the face, “-and we love you. You can’t help what happened to you and, despite what you think of yourself, you’re strong.”

Erasyl snorted, looking away.

“You are. You survived. You’re still here, _fighting_. You didn’t let it drag you down, defeat you like so many have,” Elliot looked down, his shoulders sagged under an invisible but heavy weight, “I’ve found a few that my parents fucked over before I got to you… Most of them have given up. They took the money I offered but… One of them used it on drugs and overdosed,” he closed his eyes, face drawn in pain, “She was only twenty-three… My parents fucked her over when she was sixteen and the drugs helped her cope I guess… I…”

“You didn’t do anything… She chose that herself.”

“Maybe… I still feel guilty. She wouldn’t’ve if my parents hadn’t-”

“What they did isn’t on you,” Erasyl looked down, “I… I don’t blame you for what they did to me… You… you're trying to help us and… anything that happens to us after isn’t on you. If I'd gone to a home instead of stay here and got fucked up, that wouldn’t have been on you. You got me out and I would’ve been the one to make the decision to leave. You don’t even have to help us but you are. You… you’re letting me stay here when you could’ve just easily dropped me somewhere or even call someone else to handle it. We… I’m… not even what we thought I was… I… I’m not…” he fizzles out, not really wanting to admit what he is.

“I know the results weren’t what you wanted today.. But they could have been much worse. It doesn’t help, I know, but we’ll get through it, all of us. We’ll help you where you need it ok. With all of it. Not just the sickness, but _everything_. You’re our kid now and we both take this very seriously. We want you happy and healthy and we’ll get you healthy, ok?”

Erasyl nodded jerkily, “Your brother… he was tall? Big?”

“One of the biggest I’ve seen… Why?”

Erasyl chewed his lip, “He raped me too,” he could feel Elliot’s eyes on him, “My parents have a debt to your family. He came to collect and it was decided that I would come back with him and serve the family to pay the debt off. I wasn’t the oldest but I knew English the best and they decided that it was easier for me than for my older sister who never paid attention to Dad’s lessons. He knew English you know…? Had to so he could understand the deals and whatnot better… He tried to get us to learn too… I was the best at it… So that Alpha took me from them… He fucked me on the floor of the plane and then left me there… said someone else’s name as he finished. I was where you found me because he _ruined_ me.” He ducked his face into his arms.

A presence slid up next to him, a hand touching him, “I am… so sorry… How old were you? Not that it matters.”

“I don’t remember… I know the last birthday I had was rainbows… every year was assigned a color, and a flower and an animal… My favorite was the red because it was my new age and I liked how roses looked and the horses were pretty… though i liked the foxes more… He showed up before I had another one.”

“ _Fuck_.”

“I’m glad to hear he’s dead. I wouldn’t want that happening to anyone else.”

“Not because of him, it won’t,” Elliot replied and an arm slid around him. A chin rested on his head, “When was your birthday?”

“I don’t remember,” Erasyl replied, “My mother was sickly and we didn’t have much money so we didn’t go out alot. My dad worked from home mostly… My birthday was rainbows because that’s what they could piece together with the clearance stuff.”

“What about the time of year? Was it hot? Cold?”

“Chilled maybe… I don’t remember.”

“I see… well…” Elliot pulled away to look down at him, “how about if we just pick a date then?”

“ _Pick_ one?”

“Mhm… we need it for the paperwork anyway. We’ll just pick one and, even if we find out your real one, this one will be Erasyl d’Arbington’s birthday.”

_Erasyl d’Arbington._

Was it really that easy…?

He thought about it though really, it didn’t matter. A date was a date… except… “What was the day you found me?”

“October 31st.”

“I want that one,” he looked up at Elliot who just smiled.

“Lucky for us, we already put that one in as a placeholder,” he pulled Erasyl close again, “Well I guess we’ll just have to have a late party won’t we? Is there something you want?”

Erasyl had everything he could want really… more _than_ even.

“Is there something missing?” Elliot asked, “I noticed the fish before I burned the place down.”

Oh… right…

“Fish would be nice maybe… It… It’s quiet without it, the filter.”

“How about if we get some fish then? We can stick it right there maybe?” he pointed at the top of the dresser. Erasyl nodded.

Fish would be nice.


	5. Chapter 5

Ned comes home and Erasyl cuddles Dandelion at the table while Elliot tells the Alpha what happened with the doctor. He’d given Erasyl the option to do it himself but Erasyl couldn’t stomach the idea. Ned heaves a sigh and nodding emphatically a couple of times before he gives Erasyl a grin.

“Well seems like an easy fix doesn’t it? We’ll have it cleared up in like two weeks?”

Erasyl nodded, “That’s what the doctor said.”

“Then you’ll be fine and it’ll be over.”

Erasyl held the bunny closer to his face, “Will I be… _really_?” He somehow doubted it. He’d always be stained-

Ned crouched in front of him, one hand hovering over a knee for a second before laying over one of his hands instead and gave him a gentle smile, “You will. I know you will.”

Erasyl looked down, not really seeing Dandelion anymore.

“Eli said something about fish?” Ned’s tone changed a little, seeming to grin a bit which made Erasyl look up, “You had an aquarium?”

“Yea… there were seven of them… seven fish I mean.”

“We can get you seven more. Whichever ones you want. We’ll go over the weekend ok?  
Just a couple of days away. You can look up fish, start to figure out which ones you want.”

“The store may not have the ones we want,” Elliot commented as he laid out dinner.

“Then we’ll just have to find a store where they do,” Ned grinned.

“I don’t know what kind of fish they were,” Erasyl slowly got up, Ned backing up to give him room, and went to put Dandelion up. Daisy stood on her back legs to sniff at him. He ran a finger between her ears, giving a few teeny scritches and then went to wash his hands. When he came back, there was food on the table and Elliot was tipping a pill bottle over in his hand, handing a pill to him.

“Here we are. One Metronidazole for once you’ve eaten.”

Erasyl stared at it, wondering how such a small thing would cure him. Deciding he wasn’t smart enough to know, he put it down on the table and settled into his seat. Conversation flitted around. He didn’t understand most of it, mostly because whatever social stuff they were talking about he didn’t have experience with. Anything that sounded smart, he assumed was book stuff which he hadn’t had since he’d left Almaty. He picked up the pill and stared at it. The symbols on it were numbers and English letters… he knew that much… just not what they meant… or if they even meant anything on the pill… if maybe they meant something else if put somewhere else.

Did they number pills?

No… Elliot had just given him one without looking at the number on it.

They all probably had the same number on them…

He put it in his mouth and swallowed it whole. It stuck in his throat and he coughed, choking a little bit as he guzzled the rest of his glass of water. Ned was next to him in an instant and Elliot had a second glass of water ready.

“Are you alright? What happened?”

Erasyl coughed again, “I’m fine… just got stuck,” and coughed one more time drinking the glass Elliot gave him.

God was he a mess… couldn’t even swallow a small pill without it becoming a scene.

He was useless.

They should’ve just left him to burn with the hous-

Ned squeezed his hand, “Sylla?”

“Mm...?”

“You’re sure you’re ok?”

He nodded and sipped on the second glass. Ned slowly got up and settled into his chair to finish eating. The table got cleared off when they were done and they settled in the living room for the evening. Elliot had his papers again, but there were fewer tonight and he didn’t seem as obsessed with them as he’d been. Erasyl cuddled up to Ned to watch a video he’d found and thought was hilarious. He didn’t really get it or why Ned was chuckling. Maybe he’d learn why later.

Elliot’s phone buzzed, “Ah shit…”

“What’s wrong, Eli?” Ned scrolled for another video.

“Connor… He’s asking when I'll be over to bake your cake on Friday,” they shared a look and Elliot vaguely shook his head, “I shouldn’t… We shouldn’t...”

“What’s going on?” Erasyl asked.

The pair shared another look, seeming to have an entire conversation before Elliot rolled his eyes and Ned seemed mildly pleased with himself.

“We’re supposed to be having the lads over in a few days for Ned’s birthday… It’s nothing big, just a few friends from growing up and their mates-”

“Gigi’s gonna have a fit,” Ned grinned, “Do you think they’d bring Arthur? I haven’t seen him in awhile.”

“I’m sure if you asked nicely,” Elliot replied, “That’s assuming that we’re having them over at all though.”

“How many are coming?” Erasyl asked.

“There’s six of them unless they bring the baby. There will be other Alphas but they’re all attached… and two of them are fathers… or will be at least.”

“School mates and all that,” Ned added, “One of ‘em, Gigi, she's my sister… She’ll be thrilled that she’s an Aunt.”

Aunt…

He’s got an aunt now...

He hadn’t even really thought about the fact that being adopted meant he’d get more than just new parents… He got whatever families that came with them.

Well Elliot was just Elliot but… apparently Ned had a sister and maybe parents of his own…

And they had friends and…

“If you think it's going to be too much, we can figure something else out,” Elliot said, “In fact, I’m just going tell Connor that we can’t-”

“No,” he shook his head, “It… I don’t want to ruin your birthday.”

Ned gave him a quick hug and then pulled back to look at him, “It won’t ruin it if you’re not up to having extra people in the house. We’re all adults and they’ll understand if we have to put it off for awhile. It can be just the three of us,” he paused, “We’re sorry that it’s a little last minute. We’ve had it planned for awhile and then we-” he laughed a little, his blue eyes soft, “-we forgot about it in all the excitement with finding you… and well… You let us know how you feel about having people in the house ok?”

Erasyl nodded, “I… I want you to have it… I just… I might stay upstairs.”

“And that’s more than fine,” Ned smiled a little, “There’s lots of time for you to get to know everybody. It does not have to be done the first time if you don’t want. We’ll probably even cut the night short.”

Erasyl nods and lets himself get cuddled again as Ned turns on the TV and finds something for all three of them. Elliot gets up, seeming to be done with his work for the night, and picks up the bunnies, handing Dandelion off to Erasyl and settling on Ned’s other side, Daisy laid on his chest.

Saturday came and with it the trip to the pet store. It was busy, bordering on cramped with people everywhere and the music overhead was loud enough to be mostly heard over the general din. A few of the people had dogs on leashes and some of those barked. At one point while they’d been looking at the tanks, Erasyl had been knocked into and almost fell. It wasn’t a big deal really. There was only so much room for everybody and the man’s large bag of cat litter took up abit.

It was the smell though.

Erasyl _knew_ he’d smelled that scent before.

That man had liked to torture him with vibrating plugs that he’d twist and move around, the nipple clanps he’d tug on till Erasyl cried. He might have been the first one to force a blow job and, even if he wasn’t, he was the first to fuck his face until he’d vomited around his dick. He’d talk of buying Erasyl once the pimp had used him up, talked about what he’d do to him once Erasyl was his… of the knives he’d use, both hot and cold, how he’d keep him tied up and tight for him to use on a whim…

He’d found him.

He’d found Erasyl and now he was just toying with him.

He’d wait until they were in a less crowded place and take Erasyl by force… or maybe he’d just talk about what Erasyl had done until Elliot and Ned were too disgusted to take him home.

He couldn’t go back.

He’d rather die than go with that man.

Death of any sort was kinder than going with that man.

He couldn’t go.

He wouldn’t!

_“Sylla?”_

_“What do we do? He’s not breathing right.”_

_“Erasyl?”_

The voices sounded like he was underwater. They didn’t make sense, He didn’t really recognize them. It was just a dull roaring in his ears. He had the vaguest notion of where he was but he wasn’t there. He wasn’t anywhere. It was all just white noise and his head was white noise and he saw the Alpha, could feel the Alpha but the Alpha didn’t exist where he was either. There was a long echo of _something_ and he knew none of it was right. He wasn’t where he was supposed to be but he couldn’t get out of it either. He was stuck and he lacked the will to really do anything about it.

Then it started coming back…

The echoing noises of the store were further away… and he heard the gurgling of fish tanks. He blinked a few times, the cobwebs and white noise slowly clearing away until he was staring at Ned’s face, white with concern, his blue eyes wide. He could feel Elliot behind him, holding him up. The older Omega’s heart hammered against Erasyl’s back.

“Sylla?” Ned sounded worried beyond anything.

Erasyl felt wrung out, like his everything had been squeezed from him and left him an empty shell. He tried to focus on the humming filters. It was a comforting sound, one he’d missed. Large warm hands brushed his, slowly coming up to support him as he was transferred from one to the other. He breathed in Ned’s scent, a smell he’d come to associate with _warmth_ and _safe_ and _home_ … Nothing could touch him with Ned there.

“Is everything alright?” a new voice asked, “... Should I get my manager?”

“We’re just coming off a panic attack,” Elliot replied as he left, “He’ll be fine in a few minutes. Just keep this aisle clear till then if you don’t mind.”

“Of course…”

“We’ll be out of your way in a moment,” footsteps and a smaller hand touched his back, “How’s he doing?”

“He’s coming around,” Ned’s voice vibrated in his chest were Erasyl’s ear was the closest.

He focused on the fish, watching them swim around. One in particular caught his attention, “That one’s… really pretty.”

“Which one?” Ned asked.

“That one,” he pointed at the bright orange and blue striped fish.

“Mandarin,” Ned hummed, “Pretty… See any others?”

He looked around for a moment, keeping his attention on the filters as he pointed out a Royal Gramma and one particular Guppy. There was really pretty green and red fish with black stripes and the Neon Tetras were cool. Then he saw at least five Beta Fish he liked. By then he was calmer and a little less exhausted. Elliot ushered him toward the door, leaving Ned behind. They ended up in the backseat of the car with the heat on.

“I’m sorry.”

“For _what_?” Elliot sounded confused.

“I made a scene…”

“Erasyl… you had a panic attack. There was nothing you could’ve done. I’m just glad we found that corner. I don't think taking you out the front the way you were would’ve been a good thing.”

“The tanks helped…” he admitted, “I’m just sorry I ruined the day.”

A hand ran up and down his back, “You didn’t ruin the day. We hit a snag. That’s all. We dealt with it and we’ll figure out how to do it better for if it happens again… Do you know what set it off?”

Dread pulled Erasyl’s chest in on itself and he buried himself further into Elliot's coat, “Th-there was Alpha… He… I know his scent… He was one of the ones who…” he sniffed and Elliot gently squeezed him, “I thought he’d found me and…” the tears came.

“He won’t touch you again. I promise.”

A thumping on the truck made Erasyl jolt. He looked through the back, eyes wide… only to see Ned grinning at him with… aquarium supplies. They’d… they’d gotten him fish anyway…?

Ned winked at him as Elliot reached through the front seats to pop the boot and got out to help put it all away. A box of bagged fish was put in the seat next to Erasyl. He spotted all the fish he’d pointed out in the big tanks and two of the Betas along with a couple of other fish he hadn’t picked out. They were all so pretty and he couldn’t wait to see what they’d look like all together.

Setting everything up took a bit of time and then they had to sit there to make sure the water was the right temp before adding half the bagged water and letting the fish hang out in their own bags for awhile to get used to it. He’d had some fun putting in the plastic plants though.

“What are those?” he pointed to the small black and white ones.

“Algae eaters,” Ned replied, “I figured they’d be good to clean the tank.”

“They’re really pretty.”

“Yea. They looked like they’d look good with the colorful mess you’ve got going on in there.”

The Betas were the first to get dumped into their own separate smaller tanks and the rest followed in the big one. Before long there were almost a dozen brightly-colored fish swimming around. It was mesmerizing to watch.

“It’s a shame we can’t put the Betas in there too.”

“The lady said not to put them in bright fish or other males and that’s what we’ve got,” Ned lightly ruffled his hair, “At least this way, you can move the Betas around if you want to spread them out.”

“Oh that might be nice… one on each side of the bed maybe…”

“If you want-”

There was a clattering downstairs and half a surprised squeak.

“ _Eli_ …” Ned snorted, “What have you one and done now?” and left Erasyl to watch his fish. He heard the Alpha laugh downstairs a moment later and Elliot yell at him but it sounded non threatening so the quickly-raised hackles on the back of his neck slowly relaxed though his hands stayed in the overly long sleeves of his brand new jumper. The familiar hum of the filter helped. He felt bad about not getting ones like the old aquarium had but… these new ones made his memory of the other ones _dull_ … and he’d lived in _dull_ for a long time. He felt like he was really seeing colors for the first time all over again and now that he’d seen them, he didn’t want to let them go. His bright teal jumper and visually loud shoes said as much. 

_“Ned! Put me down!”_

Ned just laughed again. Erasyl gave them a moment more, still mesmerized by the fish, until his stomach decided it wanted food. It was still weird knowing that he could just eat if he was hungry now… that the only scolding he’d get was if he ate too close a meal… in which case he’d be eating soon anyway. It was weird to eat at least three times a day. It was weird to feel _full_. He hadn’t liked it the first few days but he was slowly liking it… especially when he could cuddle up on the couch afterward and watch whatever the others had put on. He wasn’t sure what was his favorite… probably not the sports… though watching Ned get worked was funny.

He went downstairs and found Elliot sitting on the counter with Ned _right there_ … The scene was suspicious with the way Elliot’s arms and legs were wrapped around Ned’s waist even if the Alpha was doing something on the stovetop. There seemed to be a war over being embarrassed and just owning it and Elliot just slid off the counter and grabbed plates.

“Set the table, will you?”

Erasyl did, placing everything just so like he’d seen them do though he doubted they’d get mad if something was off a little bit. Food of a more breakfast variety was brought to the table and they all sat down. Light chatter filled the air as they served themselves and then got quiet as they ate.

Elliot stabbed a piece of meat, “Erasyl?”

“Hm?” he looked up from his crepe.

“Ned and I have talked… and we think it might be good for you to see a counselor.”

He froze, “What… what’s a counselor?”

“A professional who you’d talk to to help you through the trauma of what’s happened to you since Richard took you.”

“Talk to?” his insides sunk, “Like tell them _things_?”

“That’s the best way, yes.”

Erasyl shrunk in on himself, “I don’t want anybody knowing though… It’s-It’s awful and they’d look down on me and-”

“Syllla,” Ned interrupted, “They’re not there to judge. They’re there to help. What happened at the store today made Eli and I realize that we can’t help you as much as we’d hoped we could.”

Guilt ate at Erasyl, “I’m sorry.”

Some light clattering and scraping of a chair on the floor and Ned’s hands touched Erasyl’s, “It’s not your fault. Not even close.” Erasyl looked up, feeling tears, “Eli and I just don't know how to help you when something like that happens. Neither of us have really had to deal with it before and it’s not your fault. We want to help and we think that talking to someone who’s trained to listen to things like this will help you better than we can on our own.”

“But then they’ll know what happened to me. They’d know what I’ve done-! I haven’t even told you! How could I talk to someone else? I’ve only told Elliot!”

“We’ll shop around a little… find one you like,” Elliot replied, “You wouldn’t be stuck with the first one we go to if you don't like them… and you don’t have to go tomorrow if you don’t want to.”

“Could…” he bit his lip, “Could we just wait? See if I have another one?”

The pair looked at each other… and this time Elliot seemed to win, “We still think you should go-” he held a hand up, “-but we’ll give it a month, let you settle in a little more. Maybe we can find something to help you outside of a counselor… If that's acceptable?”

He supposed that was as close to a win as he’d get and nodded, “Thank you.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh I'm nervous for this one *hides*

The following morning, he woke up to the smell of sweet and savory wafting up through the door… he’d closed last night… He _knew_ he’d closed it last night, having taken a liking to being closed off from the rest of the house while he slept instead of being in the open on the floor like he’d been used to. It was open now though, Ned’s music filtering up and the scent of something _really_ nice made him realize he was hungry.

The song switched to something else as he made his way down the stairs, something definitely not Ned’s taste… but that was definitely Ned singing to it. He peeked into the kitchen, not sure if he’d see something like yesterday. Thankfully they were not tangled up on the counter this time though they were swaying together and Ned was still singing. Elliot was flushed a bright cheery red and trying half-heartedly to shush the Alpha.

“They’re going to burn…!”

Ned swung around and saved whatever was on the stove from a fiery death. Elliot escaped and grabbed something else from the stove, emptying it into a large bowl and set it on the table. He went back for whatever might have died and dumped it on a plate. Right about then seemed safe enough to appear.

“Morning Sylla!” Ned chirped, “Hungry?”

He nodded and scurried for the table.

Elliot pecked him on the head as he placed a glass in front of him, “Happy Birthday, Sylla.”

He looked up, “But my birthday’s not today…”

“No but we had to celebrate it,” Ned replied as he placed another dish on the table and plopped into his own seat with a grin, “It was supposed to be last night but… well you know…”

Erasyl had gone and had a panic attack in public… and _apparently_ ruined his own birthday plans along with it.

Nobody said anything about it other than Elliot asking if he felt ok. Erasyl had nodded around a forkful of food. The eggs were good and he liked the meats, but they felt weird in his stomach so he ended up eating more of the potatoes. The kippers weren’t appealing and the tomato was a little odd but good when tasted with everything else. He ate until he was too full to move and felt slightly sick. The other two didn’t seem in a hurry to move so he didn’t feel _too_ guilty. Ned finished his tea and started to clean up. Erasyl still wasn’t ready to move but stacked the empty dishes within reach the best he could. Elliot grabbed the pile and dealt with it. Once the kitchen was clean again, they moved to the living room… where there were a couple strands of blue streamer and paper fish hanging on a few surfaces. The coffee table was covered in bags in different colors and designs and all sorts of colored paper sticking out of the tops. He had a vague memory of something like this back in Kazakhstan but it hadn’t been _anything_ like what this was.

“What…”

“Happy Birthday, Sylla,” Ned grinned as he plonked on the couch.

“But… you already bought me fish…”

They weren’t serious… were they?

There was no way.

They couldn’t possibly-

“How about you start with this one?” Elliot brought one in bright green with a dog and something Erasyl _vaguely_ remembered as a party hat on it’s head forward.

“What was in that one?” Ned asked, sounding a little confused.

“I haven’t the foggiest,” Elliot replied.

Erasyl looked between them, feeling overwhelmed with everything. He knew what they wanted though so he slowly reached for the bag and pulled the paper out of the top, careful to not mash it too much in case they wanted to reuse it later. Inside was a box of… something… he wasn’t sure what it was but Ned claimed it made stars show up on the ceiling… whatever that meant. Elliot pushed another bag at him and Erasyl pulled the paper from that one.

They gave him a little bit of everything by the end of it.

One of his favorites was a fuzzy blanket, so soft he couldn’t believe it was real. And the colors…

There were _so many._

Ned said it looked like a box of crayons had barfed on it.

Well… if that’s what a box of crayons barfing on something looked like, he wanted crayons to bark on _everything_.

He was curious about the _large_ notepad and what Elliot said were colored pencils. They’d settled at the coffee table and Erasyl watched as Elliot tried, and apparently failed if his frustrated huffing and Ned’s barely restrained laughing were anything to go by, drawing the box the pencils came in. It did look strange but Erasyl could see _thereabouts_ what it was supposed to be.

“Here,” Elliot pushed the pencils at him, “You try.”

He stared at Elliot like he’d gone off, “I can’t.”

A dark brow cocked and Elliot smirked a little in that way of his, “How do you know?”

“I just…”

“Have you ever tried?”

He looked down at the new blank sheet.

“It’s amazing what you can do if you put your mind to it. Try this once and see how you like it. If you hate it, you don’t have to touch it again and we’ll find something else.”

He could do that much… right?

He didn’t really want to get it wrong though.. So he grabbed the box and traced around it the best he could to get the exact size. The colors weren’t exact and they didn’t stay in the lines which was frustrating. By the end, it was… well he could tell what it was _supposed_ to be and neither of them outright laughed at it so he guessed it was ok.

He tried a few of the other things they’d given him over the course of the day. The board game was played a few times and each time he got better. The books had pretty pictures but he had no idea what they said so Elliot and Ned took turns reading to him. By the end of the day, he could pick out a few of the words and say them… even though he still couldn’t read them. The letters were sort of familiar so maybe he’d learned them at some point? Maybe from his father? They didn't mean a thing to him now though. They just existed and meant things that Ned and Elliot knew and he didn’t.

By late afternoon, he was cuddled up on the couch with Dandelion under his new blanket with a book on sea life. Most of the information was lost to him since he couldn’t read any of it though he did remember numbers to a point and could thereabouts figure out what the biggest ones were. The reef fish were the most colorful and, therefore, the prettiest… but the ones one the deep sea pages were really weird… and fascinating despite not being colorful at all. Dandelion didn't have much of an opinion on any of it. He was just happy nibbling on the bits of apple they were sharing.

Dinner was his favorite takeout they’d had so far so that was nice. Dessert was a variety box of things. The ones with cream made him feel… _odd_. It reminded him of… _things_ he’d prefer to not think about… felt his pulse speed up just a little with a few mental flashes, images he didn't want to see again. He must have stared at them funny because Elliot took those and tossed them in the bin. Nobody said anything about it and Erasyl felt himself calm down by the time he’d finished his shower.

When he went up for bed, he noticed the projector they’d given him set up on a stool at the foot of the bed. Ned switched it on and flopped on the bed. Elliot turned the overhead off and… Erasyl froze. All the tiny dots on… well everything... but mostly the ceiling… they were so _pretty_ …

“ _Wow_...”

“Pretty cool yea,” Ned grinned, “and we have that set to tonight?”

“Mhm,” Elliot nodded.

“Ok…” his phone screen lit up, “Assuming this is as accurate as they claim…” he looked up a few times and shifted around on the bed, “Ok! Sylla! Come here,” he sounded like a kid. Erasyl climbed on and flipped onto his back like Ned. “Right. So,” Ned held his phone up again to show something very similar to the ceiling and then sort of dropped it in favor of pointing above their heads and almost right above Elliot, “See that? That brighter spot?”

“Mhm.”

“That’s Andromeda Galaxy and above that, there’s five stars that look like a ‘W’... might be that?”

Elliot looked up and lined his finger shadow up to the stars, “Here?”

“Think so?” Ned looked back at his phone, “Seems about right… Anyway, that’s the constellation Cassiopeia.”

“What’s a constellation?” Erasyl asked.

“It’s a group of stars that ancient people decided looked like something in their stories.”

“Oversimplified but ok,” Elliot replied, sounding amused.

“What? They had their stories of their heroes and gods and they found stars that looked like those things and told the stories while staring up at the sky. The ‘W’ looking one is Queen Cassiopeia and below and to the right of Andromeda is the Great Square of Pegasus which is… _shit_ … If that’s there then it should be… there? Maybe?”

Erasyl hadn’t seen anything Ned was pointing out. It was just dots on the ceiling to him but it was beautiful. “This is what it looks like outside?”

“If we were out in the middle of nowhere, yea,” Ned replied, “London lights drown out alot of it.”

“Oh… could we go somewhere to see them sometime?”

“Yea… We can see if we can find somewhere… maybe in the spring when it’s not so cold out. We can stay out all night if you want.”

Erasyl grinned at Ned and then at Elliot who seemed a little less enthusiastic but seemed ready to go along with it, “That’d be really cool.”

“Gives me time to study,” Ned replied in that mostly joking way of his, “so I sound like I know what I’m talking about… Maybe we’ll get a telescope?”

“Maybe,” Elliot replied, sounding amused, “Let’s see how he likes them first before we get carried away.”

As it went, Erasyl decided that he preferred drawing to figuring out which stars were which. They were really pretty to stare at but that was about as far as it went. He loved the projector though and slept with it on most nights.

But he liked the colors.

He liked using the pencils and making something from it. Granted they weren’t very good, but as long as he had something to look at and copy, it came out ok given he’d been doing for less than a week.

Monday started Elliot giving him lessons on letters so he could learn to read his books. Some of the letters came to him easier than others, mostly the ones in his name or the ones in Elliot’s and Ned’s and the bunnies’. Getting the order right was a different story, but he was getting there. He ended up drawing alot to help. Whatever space he occupied usually had a line of pictures that he’d then try to put in order and Elliot would come in and help him reorder if something was off and then help him spell everything on each page. Insultingly childish books showed up around Tuesday... but if he couldn’t read those then he had no hope of reading about the sea turtles.

So he stuck with it, reading one with Elliot a few times over the course of a day when Elliot wanted a break from whatever work he was doing. Friday messed up their little schedule for the afternoon since they were getting ready for Ned’s birthday party. They were waiting for somebody named Connor, but he was running late apparently, which left Erasyl to draw an animal alphabet. He was in the middle of a narwhal when Elliot’s phone went off.

The older Omega answered it, trying to sound less starting-to-get-flustered than he’d been for the last fifteen or so minutes, “Connor? What’s-... Oh shit…! Do you need a ride? … Ok good… Right… Let me know how he is then… Mhm,” Elliot pulled the phone away, “Ah fuck.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Connor’s dog ate something and now he won’t stop choking so they’re taking him to the vet. Stupid dog,” Elliot sighed, “Well fuck… I suppose we could try this ourselves. “

Erasyl wasn’t sure that was the best idea. He had no clue what they were doing and wouldn’t be much help. Still… Elliot pulled up a recipe and they got to work on it. He had no idea what it was supposed to look like… well there were pictures to go with it… and well...

“Is it supposed to look like that?” Erasyl stared at the lumpy batter he was mixing.

Elliot looked down at it, “Fucking hell… I run around a lab all day, make anything I damn well please with no problem. Why is it so fucking hard to mix a damn cake?” He took over trying to mix it but it wasn’t helping.

They dumped the batter and tried again. This one seemed to go better… maybe… Elliot stuffed it in the oven and set a timer and they waited. Erasyl flicked through pictures on the tablet, pausing at one of a field and started drawing. The trees at the edge were abysmal but the fence looked ok. Granted it was only a few lines behind a huge bit of green that was _supposed_ to be grass but it was all swirly and just… _not grass._ The clouds didn’t look like the ones in the picture, but he’d seen ones outside yesterday that were just as fluffy. The ‘ponies’ were just… They were hard to look at.

“They’re hideous,” he groused.

“Maybe,” Elliot replied, looking over his shoulder, “but the rest looks good.”

“Not really…” Erasyl sighed, “It doesn’t look like the picture.”

“It doesn’t have to. Your drawing doesn’t have to match someone else’s and, you know what?”

“What?”

“Sometimes we see our work as less than it is. We praise other people’s work but hate our own. We’re our own worst critic sometimes… and sometimes we just need to let someone else look at our work and take what they think of it.”

“Like the cake?”

“No,” there was a faux-seriousness in Elliot’s voice, “the cake’s likely fucked.”

The cake came out of the oven and was laid out on a rack to cool for awhile. Elliot showed him how to ice it when it was ready and left him to finish so he could get to rolling and making little things out of… something else. There was a variety of shapes, some of which Erasyl made out and others he didn’t. He wasn’t sure if it was because he hadn’t come across those things yet or if… or if Elliot just… didn't do those as well as the other ones?

Ned came home about fifteen minutes after they’d stuffed the cake in the fridge. The takeout he brought with him was divided out and eaten. He looked at Erasyl’s art for the day, made encouraging comments that Erasyl didn’t necessarily believe but it was nice. They watched a couple of shows on the telly and then Erasyl went to bed.

The following day went on as days went until after lunchtime and the three of them cleaned the place a bit, especially the dining room Erasyl hadn’t seen used yet. He scurried upstairs with the first knock on the door. He stays in the doorway to his room for awhile, listening as the door opens two more times and the exuberant greetings all three times. The males are the loudest and there’s three in particular that are the worst, Ned being one. The noise got louder and there was alot of laughing. He heard the oven open and close a couple of times and a young-sounding voice asking about the rabbits. He crouches at the top of the stairs with his face buried in his blanket as he listens for awhile. For as much as the sounds were… well frightening… he also wanted to see who these people were. He wanted to meet this Connor person and his new aunt. He puts his blanket back on his bed and hides his hands in his sleeves, gripping the edges, before slowly inches down the stairs.

The kitchen is full of new people, half of them big Alphas like Ned. There’s a couple of women, one blond and one with reddish hair, and one male Omega besides Elliot. A little boy is one the floor with who looks like Daisy, playing quietly with her. They’re all smiling and seeming to get along. He doesn’t sense any true aggression which helps a little but not much. The idea of being with some many Alphas doesn’t sit very well with him.

And then the other male Omega spots him and stared with a slight smile.

The Alpha closest to the Omega noticed and looked in his direction…

And suddenly he was the center of attention for the entire room.

_Stupid... should’ve hidden instead of standing in the open…_

_Shouldn’t have come down in the first place._

He was torn between running back upstairs as had been his original plan and hiding behind Ned… and ended up clinging to Elliot’s arm, face hidden in his shoulder.

“Are you alright?” he asked, voice low. Erasyl just grips his arm and feels a hand cover his. The room’s quieted and he doesn’t know if it’s made it better or worse. It’s not noisy but it feels like he’s still the center of attention and he just wants to melt into the floor.

“Right, lads,” Ned sounded happy at least, “This here is Erasyl. Sylla,” he waited until he’d peeked out from behind Elliot, “these are the lads-” pointing to each in turn, “-This is Soheil, me but darker. He’s dating my sister Georgia-” the woman next to the new Alpha looked unreasonably happy as she stared at him. He wondered if she’d _actually_ bounce in place if it wouldn't be weird, “-She prefers Gigi. Over there the scary-looking sod with the ugly face is Davy. The sweet looking thing next to him is his mate, Abigail. The kid is Arthur.” the little boy sitting on the floor with Daisy waved, “He’s theirs. Next we got Davy’s little brother, Lexy-” the Alpha in question decidedly did **not** look impressed, “-and his mate, the darling sweet Conner who’s got one in the oven…” there was a pause, “Get it? Because he likes to bake and it’s a bun… and...” Nobody laughed though Elliot’s shoulders shook a little, seemingly mildly amused at Ned’s verbal floundering, “Eh fuck all of you.”

 **That’s** what got the laugh.

Erasyl managed half a nod and shrunk into Elliot who stood there like a rock, letting him hide as needed.

“Oh he’s precious,” the blond female, Abigail? cooed.

No he wasn’t… he was gross.

Disgusting.

He shouldn’t even be allowed to be the same room as that adorable child just in case he rubbed off on him-

No… no… Elliot said he wasn’t a filthy trollop, that he was fine… stronger than the rest even.

He didn’t feel stronger though.

The Alpha presence was overwhelming and he didn’t bolt only because the other Omegas seemed at ease with them. He stayed pressed up against Elliot for the better part of an hour, listening to them chat and the ribbing wherein the Alphas would get aggressive with each other. The Omegas just rolled their eyes, but Elliot would shift to shield Erasyl a little better and hand him a biscuit from a plate that wasn’t theirs. There was an exchange where the scarred one said something to Ned about skipping the hard part and his brother made a comment about being a lazy sod to which the scarred one said something about **not** having to enjoy changing the nappies thank you very much.

“Making them is fun though. That’s why we’re on number two.”

“DAVID NIKOLAOS REDLOCK!”

"Oh shite man," Ned-but-darker cackled, "Don't think she wanted it announced like that!"

"Fuck."

To see the admittedly imposing Alpha looking cowed as his tiny Omega wife glared at him was something else.

Elliot sniggered, "You think he's kicked out of bed tonight?" His voice was quiet enough for just Erasyl to hear.

"She could do that?"

"Of course. Has on an occasion or two in the _ten_ or whatever years they’ve been together."

An Omega could kick an Alpha, _their **Alpha** ,_ out of bed?

He’d never heard of such a thing.

Abigail heaved a sigh and smiled, “Surprise! Arthur’s a big brother!”

The group erupted in congratulating the couple. Arthur giggled as he passed around, being told in various tones of voice that he’d better be the very best big brother. Ned and Davy were used as bad examples to which Ned had grabbed his sister and mussed her hair up pretty good.

“See what I mean!” she shoved him, “He’s just awful!”

They eventually kicked the Alphas out of the kitchen and into a different part of the house so they could finish setting up dinner. Erasyl felt useless just hanging out. He didn't know how to do anything they were doing though and it didn’t seem like it'd be a good night to figure it out.

“Erasyl?” the lady Ned introduced as ‘Gigi’ sidled up to him while Elliot was busy with something across the kitchen, “Did I say that right?” He vaguely nodded, not sure what to expect. “I’m so happy to meet you finally!” the smile was blinding, “When Ned told me they’d adopted, I was over the moon!”

“She was,” the blond lady replied, “We couldn’t get her to stop talking about it,” there as a fond smile.

“She was about ready to march over here when we cancelled last Saturday night,” Elliot added.

Last Saturday… The day he’d gotten his fish… and the panic attack…

They were supposed to have a party that night… and she was supposed to come?

He’d fucked up more than he’d thought.

“Were you born in England?” she didn’t seem to notice he’d spaced out, “Ned had mentioned something about trying to find your parents, but he wouldn’t give me details.”

“N-No,” he shook his head.

“Ah! Where are you from then?”

“Almaty… Kazakhstan… That’s all I really remember though.”

“How long have you been here?”

“... Since I was seven.”

“That’s why you don't have much of an accent then.”

He wasn’t sure if he should be offended, but she didn’t seem to mean anything by it so he decided it didn’t mean a thing. After all, her Alpha looked fairly foreign even if he sounded like the rest and Connor had an accent, “It… kinda got beat out of me.”

Her face fell, “Oh I’m so sorry.”

“It’s ok…” he pretends to not see the cane in his mind’s eye, “It was years ago.”

“Doesn’t make it right though, does it?” Abigail asked though it sounded more like a statement.

“I suppose not…” he replied, “but it’s been done and there’s nothing to be done for it now. My accent’s gone and I doubt I’d get it back even if I tried. It’s fine though… I don’t need it. It'll probably be better that I don't have one.” He noticed Elliot staring at him, a look that seemed to ask if he was still doing ok. Erasyl wasn’t sure… but he wasn’t flipping out like he had at the pet store so he supposed he was ok enough and gave half a smile. Gigi launched into something else, animals it sounded like. He wasn’t sure why it was funny that her Alpha had been annoyed at having a bird in the house. The fact that it messed everywhere seemed… less than pleasant, but she seemed amused by it.

“I don’t know why he complains about it still. He was upset when it was finally rehomed.”

A hand touched his arm which made him jump. The other male Omega, Connor, offered a warm smile and gestured to silverware and plates, “Would you like to help me?”

He glanced at Elliot who merely jerked his head toward the door and engaged Gigi into a conversation about Christmas plans. Erasyl grabbed the heavy things and followed Connor into the larger dining room. He put the stack of plates down and started putting one at every chair.

“How are you settling in? It’s alot I’m sure,” Connor asked after a few moments of silence as he followed, placing silverware. There was a gentleness that none of them, except maybe Abigail, had. It reminded him of the blanket he’d gotten for his birthday.

He nodded vaguely, “It is… but it’s been good I think. I like it here.”

“That’s good,” Connor smiled, “Ned’s alot to handle but he’s a good one… loyal almost to a fault. Elliot… Elliot’s hard to get to,” there was a nudge of shoulders, “It seems you’ve done it though.”

“What do you mean?”

Connor nodded, “He’s odd in showing affection so it may not have come across that way… He’s better though. Certain factors are gone so he’s freer I think.”

“How long have you known him?”

“Only a few years really. I met him before he and Ned got together. That’s done the most good I think… having love as steady as Ned’s and accepting it for what it is... ”

“They do seem happy…” Erasyl paused, wondering if he was doing the plates right. He didn’t know if they were done differently here than they would at the normal table. Connor hadn’t corrected him though so he assumed it was ok, “Where did you meet… um…” he couldn’t remember the name… just that whatever Ned had introduced him as hadn’t gone over well, “... your Alpha.”

“Alexis?”

That wasn’t the name but maybe the other one was a nickname…

There was a fond smile, “We worked in the same building actually. I was downstairs cleaning the refectory and he’s a solicitor, worked upstairs. We smelled each other and then spent the next few days missing each other until we finally met outside the building… in the rain… I was trying to figure out the best way to get home because I’d come over on my bike... and he found me,” the smile was soft, a hint of pink in his cheeks as Connor flushed, “It all went pretty quick after that. We just got married last year and we have a baby coming in the spring so… the last three years have been _alot_ but it’s been a good’ alot’, you know?”

Not really.

Well… maybe…

The last couple of weeks had been alot… but it’d been a good _alot_ right?

He’d gone from sleeping on the floor and being used by Alphas to having his own bed and his own room and he was touched gently and mostly for things like cuddles while watching something after dinner… and even then, he could leave when he wanted. They never forced him to stay, never expected anything of him or hung the fact that they were housing and feeding him over his head. He’d had nothing but warmth and kindness from them.

“I think so…”

“Do you have any hobbies?”

“Hobbies…?”

“Things you like to do?”

“Oh… um… well I have some fish and I like to watch them and… I got a sketchpad for my birthday and I like that… I’m not very good though…” learning to read probably wasn’t a good thing to be admitting to at his age...

“Being good at something takes practice,” Connor replied, “I’ve had years of it and I’m still not terribly good. Don’t tell Alexis that though. He seems to think everything I do is brilliant and gets cross when I say otherwise.”

“Elliot said that we are our own worst critic sometimes,” Erasyl scrunched his brows, “Maybe it’s like that…?”

“Perhaps… Perhaps you’re better at your drawing than you think.”

Erasyl doubted that but let it go when Elliot came in with several beverage options and placed them on the far side of the table.

“Does Arthur need a booster seat?”

“Heavens no,” Abigail came after him with a large platter of something, “He’s taken after Davy, growing like a weed. I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s my height by the time he’s ten.”

“Damn Redlock genes,” Elliot grinned a bit.

“At least they show up small,” Gigi appeared with another dish, “Can you imagine trying to have a baby Ned? His head was huge.”

“No thank you,” Elliot made a face… though Erasyl _thought_ he saw a flicker of… _something… sad_ … He might have imagined it though since it was gone as soon as he’d seen it, “I’m quite happy housing those that don’t have one of their own.”

“Where are you sitting Erasyl? Do you mind if I sit with you?” Gigi asked.

“Uh… I suppose not.”

She beamed, “Awesome! Oh! I have something for you,” she pulled a small velvet box with a bow on it from her pocket, "I _should_ probably wait for Soh but…" and handed it to him, “This will be less of a scene for you, I think. Happy Birthday.”

“Oh… um thank you,” Erasyl took it and glanced at Elliot who just nodded. He touched the top of it, liking the softness, and then slowly opened it. There was a little heart-shaped thing on a long loop of chain with a curly 'A' on it.

"Here," she took it and… _opened_ it before handing it back. Inside was a picture of Elliot and Ned on one side… and another one of her and her Alpha, “Remember this if nothing else-" she touched his hands with hers, "-those are the four people who will care for you the most no matter what." He looked up at her, "You’re family… my nephew."

He blinked away tears, "Thank you," and looked back down at the faces, two familiar and two not so much, before closing it and staring at the letter… It was one he knew well.

 _A_ …

Like for d’Arbington…


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the wait!! I wanted this chapter out like two weeks ago *at least* but the last month has kicked my ass and put me really far behind in writing everything but my two everyday fics

He loves his locket… can’t stop fiddling with it all through dinner. It’s not heavy, but it’s a new weight even if it’s a small one. He’s not even sure he wants to take it off.

The Alphas are called in and fill spots around the table. Food’s passed around and everybody’s talking. There’s always at least two conversations going on at once and he tries to keep with it all and can’t quite do it. He ends up across from the older brother and boxed in-between Elliot and Gigi who fusses over him almost to the point of being suffocating about it. Her Alpha laughed something about spoiling and she tells him to sod off but nobody’s mad and it’s more like a joke than anything. It still feels like it’s all a bit much though. There’s talk of sports on one end of the table and pregnancy and thoughts of moving on the other and then somebody brings up the snow that’s supposed to come in the coming week. That launches into some story about a sledding incident gone wrong back when the Alphas and Elliot were kids that has the table dying. He doesn’t know what they’re talking about and Gigi has to explain what a sled and snow is before he _sort_ of gets it. He’s not entirely sure why it’s funny though. It just seems more terrible than anything especially because of getting the cold stuff in one’s face and the sled breaking. He’s not even sure why nobody got in trouble for breaking it in the first place.

His pimp would’ve beaten him for that.

Conversations move on and he’s encouraged to talk even though he’s not sure of alot of it. They talk about things he has little to no knowledge on and has to have alot of it explained to him or he just tries to figure it out himself. He decides that, despite her being excitable, he really does like his Aunt Gigi. So-Soheil? Soh-something was loud, but it was like Ned so it was sort of familiar. He liked them both though… enough to want to see them again at least. Connor and Abigail? were also nice. Apparently they were both really good with baking and decorating. Well he’d known Connor could do that since he was supposed to come over and help them the day his dog did something stupid. Gigi had shown him pictures of Alexis’s last birthday cake and… well Erasyl suddenly felt _very_ self conscious about the one he and Elliot had done.

The other two Alphas were… well… scary. Especially the quieter one. It didn’t matter much that Connor and the others were completely at ease with him. He just… well Erasyl wanted to like him more than he did even if it was because everybody else liked him. He hadn’t even done anything to Erasyl except give a vague general acknowledgment of his existence in the same space.

Dinner wraps up and everyone, except him and Gigi, helps clean the table off, depositing it all in the kitchen. Ned's then herded to the living room where he and Gigi just put the last of the gifts on the pile on the coffee table. He starts going through them, tossing crumpled paper and such at the other Alphas and once at Elliot for comments made. Erasyl bites his lip when Ned gets to his and unwraps the book on space that Elliot ordered for him. He feels silly since it’s not like anything else any of the others have gotten him, but Ned flips through it with a grin and pulls him for a warm hug.

“I love it.”

“Do you really?”

“Of course. We can read through it together if you want.”

Erasyl still doesn’t care much about stars but the pictures were pretty so he nods. He stays put next to Ned as he finishes going through everything and ends up with a gift bow on his head which he doesn’t understand but doesn’t dare take off. Elliot and Abigail leave and come back, cake and such in hand.

That started the noise and the comments.

They weren’t particularly mean and Elliot didn’t seem to care much, but Erasyl couldn’t help but feel like maybe his fault. Elliot had said he wasn’t good at stuff like cakes, but Erasyl having absolutely no clue _couldn’t_ have helped the situation. It might have come out better if he hadn’t touched it-

“I helped.”

The room quieted as the Alphas all seemed to glance at each other, lost on what to do.

Ned wrapped his arms around him, tugging him into a gentle but tight hug, “And it’s the best one I’ve ever had.”

It wasn’t…

Not by a long shot if the faces were anything to go by.

They weren’t bad faces per se but they weren’t… well he could tell that comparatively their cake wasn’t as good.

After it’s done, he’s exhausted and asks if he can go to bed. There’s a resounding ‘yes. Of course you can’ and Elliot tells him as he hugs him goodnight that he’s proud of him. Ned says it’s the best birthday he’s ever had and Gigi’s thrilled they could finally meet and, yes, she was going to kidnap him soon for some quality aunt-and-nephew time… whatever that meant. He trudges up the stairs, his limbs suddenly feeling heavy as it all really catches up with him. The voices below have calmed down some though not enough for him to not hear them.

 _“Letting him take the fall for that, you tosser! You should be ashamed of yourself!”_ one of them laughed.

 _“I didn’t actually,_ ” Elliot sniffed, “ _He said he helped and you all took that as you did. He’s the one who iced it and then helped me put the decorations on.”_

 _“That was the best part!”_ the older brother cackled.

 _“Did you use cold ingredients?_ ” Abigail asked.

“ _Yea_ ,” Elliot sighed, “ _I fucked the first batch and had to toss it. We didn’t have time to let the eggs and whatnot warm up before using them… That’s why it was so dense isn’t it?”_

_“Most likely, but the flavor was good.”_

So it wasn’t _entirely_ their fault it wasn’t as good then…

That was nice to know.

He gets his shower and crawls into bed. The house is quieter by now so some of them have gone. He still hears Soh and Aunt Gigi downstairs though. He snuggles under his crayon barf blanket, locket clutched in his hand, and stares at the little dots of magenta on the walls, watches as they slowly drift through the blues to green and yellow… He’s out cold before they land back at magenta.

His reading gets better over the next few days and he’s reading the childish books on his own by the end of the third week. The next stage up in reading show up and he’s started on them. He likes the deeper stories, ones that say more than 'Rabbit chases butterfly… over springy grass… through the rough log…' The book on space is interesting though they have to stop alot in the beginning so Ned can explain the bigger words to him. He liked the planets, but the subject as a whole was… while not the worse thing, wasn’t one he was super interested in. He does attempt to draw the constellations as they look in the book and then draw that they are _supposed_ to be around them... so that's fun... sort of. 

Something goes on at Ned’s work the following week which requires Elliot to go in one day, but that’s fine. He gets to go over to Connor’s flat which is nice. The cat and dog are new for him and he tries to sketch them while they’re sleeping. Blew-something wakes up a few times but blinks at him and just goes back to sleep. The dog just bolts around, making alot of noise and sliding a wet nose up Erasyl’s leg, getting dog snot on his pants. He’s not sure if he cares or not… It’s just kind of gross honestly, but he’s used to rabbits who aren’t as… soggy. Connor adores them both though. Fif… Fifnd? Ffind? is kind of cute and Erasyl honestly gets a kick out of watching the ears flop around as he dashes around the room, squeaking his toy in his mouth.

Alexis shows up before Elliot does so that’s… a thing. Erasyl _wants_ to like him… but he’s big and quiet, well quieter than Ned, and doesn’t look half as friendly. The Alpha greets him, not seeming to be surprised that he’s here in his house and not put off by it either. Erasyl pretends to not notice Connor squeak and reprimand Alexis for kissing him in front of company. The Alpha just seems amused and... maybe that helped… _some_.

Elliot does show up soon after and takes him to get some takeout before heading home. Everything’s going fine as they’re waiting for their food… until he hears a voice. He doesn’t even know where it comes from, just that he’s heard it before… He’s heard that voice growl obscene things in his ear as he’s rutting into him. That voice ordered him to beg for his dick and then choke him with it until he’d throw up on the floor. He‘d laugh and laugh at it and call Erasyl useless for not being able to swallow him whole… threatened to rip his teeth out…

“-syl… honey. Look at me.”

He slowly blinked to find Elliot’s face white, dark eyes wide, “Huh?”

“ _Fuck_ … are you ok? Of course you’re not,” he stood and helped Erasyl up, “Come on. We’ll get you home.”

“Dinner…”

“We’ll just-”

“89!”

Elliot gave him a look and then went to grab the bags before helping Erasyl out to the car. He felt a bit dazed as Elliot started the engine. The Omega kept sending him worried glances.

Erasyl clutched the hem of his jumper, “It happened again… didn’t it?”

“What set you off this time?”

He choked back tears, feeling useless and pathetic.

“Sylla?” and hand touched his, squeezing it firmly to help him focus, “What happened? Was it a smell?”

“...A voice…”

“Who’s?”

“I don't know… I just heard it and…” and the memories came.

Elliot’s hand covered one of his and gave it a gentle squeeze, “It’s ok. He’s not here, right? He’d have to get through me first. He’d have to get through Ned. He doesn’t know where you are. You’re ok.”

Erasyl reached for Elliot’s sleeve, curling his fingers around the cuff, “I’m ok.” He didn’t _feel_ ok.

They pull in and Elliot reaches over to pull Erasyl close. It’s awkward but Elliot’s scent surrounds him, reminding him he’s safe. They’re there for longer than they realize because the next thing he knows, there’s a tapping on the driver’s side window. Erasyl jolts, his brain almost shutting down again, but catches Ned’s face at the last second and he’s left feeling winded and shaky. Elliot soothes him back down while Ned’s giving them a worried look. The dark sky was black now with the street lamps on. Elliot gets out of the car and grabs the bag of food. Ned comes around and Erasyl hops out, latching himself to Ned’s waist. The Alpha wraps an arm around his shoulders, holding him tight, and leads him into the house. Erasyl looks up the street for a car… though he has no clue what that Alpha drove so looking for it was pointless.

They get inside the house and lock the door. Erasyl stays stuck to Ned’s side, his face buried in the other’s shirt. The Alpha lays a hand on the back of his head, holding him close until Erasyl thinks he can _deal_ again. He slowly peels himself away and takes a shaky breath. He’s exhausted, drained. He just wants to sleep.

Elliot reappears from the kitchen, “Do you want to go take a shower? Relax a little bit,” he offers half a hesitant smile, “You can come back for dinner whenever you want ok?”

Erasyl nods, feeling numb and a little spacey. He’s hungry but more tired. He heads upstairs, slowly, not quite feeling like himself yet. There’s part of his brain that’s screaming at him to eat food while it’s being offered, but there’s another, newer part that reminds him they won’t take food from him. They’ll let him eat when he’s hungry.

 _“What happened_?” Ned asked.

“ _We had another episode_ ,” Elliot sighed, “ _He heard a voice this time_.”

Erasyl paused.

“ _Fuck… Eli… we should-”_

_“We told him we’d give him a month.”_

_“I know but it’s the second time in almost as many weeks… It’s the first time he’s been in public like that since the first time. That’s…_ concerning _…”_

_“I know it is…”_

_“Then we should start looking for someone. Line a few up so he’s got a choice and see where it goes. I’m serious Eli. We can’t deal with this. We’re not equipped to help him like he needs to be.”_

_“I know, Ned…”_

_“Then what’s that face for?”_

_“I_ …” Elliot sighed, “ _Has he talked to you about what happened to him?”_

_“... No…”_

_“As far as I know, he’s only told me. He’s so… closed off about it, I don’t know if he’ll talk to somebody else.”_

_“We need to give him the option at least.”_

_“I know it just… It took me so long to tell you guys about what happened to me and he’s had it so much worse… and we’re expecting him to talk to a stranger about it?”_

_“So we’re supposed to what? Let it fester? Just deal with the fact that he has a bloody panic attack when he goes out?”_

_“I **don’t** **know** , Ned…! I know he needs help. I just… I just don’t want him to shut down. I don’t want him to feel like we’re forcing something on him. He’s had enough of that. He’s just starting to understand that he can make his own decisions-”_

_“And we’re not taking it from him. We’re helping him have more. If we can get him treatment, he can figure out how to deal with it and he doesn’t have to live in fear of having an attack every time he leaves the fucking house.”_

Erasyl rubbed his face and realized he’d been crying. He doesn’t want to be a burden. He’s not worth worrying over.

He doesn’t go back downstairs that night, instead curling up under his blankets and watching his fish swim. The door opens at some point and he pretends to be asleep. Hands shift the top blanket, rearranging it a little to tuck him in and a kiss is pressed to his temple. His shoulder’s gently squeezed and the door closed a few seconds later. A few tears slip down his face before he can stifle them. Sleep doesn’t come for a long time. His brain, despite being drained, runs in circles and down into a spiral that gets worse and worse, reliving things he’d rather forget. He’s left, huddled under the blankets, sobbing and terrified that this has all been a ploy, that Elliot and Ned don’t actually give two shits about him and that he’s just falling for their trap... That they're just biding their time, waiting for him to lower his guard and then they'd pounce and use him-

He’s so hysterical that he doesn’t even notice the door opening or the presence until they’ve wrapped their arms around him and he freaks out, “No! Stop-!”

“-Sylla! It’s me-”

“-Leave me alone-!”

“Sylla, wake up-”

“I’m sorry!” he breaks down, sobbing, “I’ll be good!”

“What are you”-

“Just don’t hurt me,” he curls in on himself, the fight in him disappearing as soon as it’s showed up and he just waits to be hit for struggling.

“ _Fucking hell…_ ” Ned’s voice sounds tired, exasperated.

He’s done it…

Erasyl’s finally made himself more work than what’s worth the time.

_“I’m sorry… I’m sorry… I’ll be good.”_

“Sylla, Sylla, it’s ok. Nobody's going to hurt you. It’s ok.”

More footsteps and something soft, damp, and cool touches his face, wiping it clean, “There we go,” Elliot hums and sits back on his haunches, “How about if you come sleep with us tonight…?”

Erasyl stills.

Why would they want him to sleep with them… unless…

The tears start again and he’s shaking. Everything freezes up until there’s nothing but a distant roar in his ears. His heart’s pounding and he can’t quite get enough air.

" _Shit_."

He’s honestly not sure how long he’s out of it… It could have been five minutes or a year. The weak light from the window says something about the time but he’s not with it enough to know what. He just knows he’s exhausted and wants to cry... just is too tired to. The arms around him, gently squeeze him as a hand runs through his damp hair. Ned’s face is lit up by his phone as he sits on the floor nearby. He looks exhausted, his face wrinkled into a frown.

“You gave us a scare, Sylla,” Elliot kisses his head.

He tears up as much as his dry eyes can. They're so dry they sting, “ _I’m sorry_.”

“It’s not your fault,” he’s cuddled up closer, his blanket cocooned around him. Elliot sounds as tired as Ned looks. The Alpha looks away from his phone, dropping it in his lap and scrubs his face. He offers a smile but it’s more of a grimace and Erasyl feels _that_ much more guilty for keeping them up.

“I’m sorry…”

“Do you know what set you off this time?” Elliot asked.

Erasyl shakes his head a little, “I was… thinking about things… They wouldn’t stop…”

“What kind of things.”

“Bad things…” he sniffed, “Things I don’t think are real but I don’t know. It’s hard to tell sometimes.”

Another kiss is pressed to his hair, “I don’t know if it helps but… If nothing else, remember this: Ned and I love you.”

There’s a light scraping of something on wood behind him and Ned eases closer, the locket dangling from his hand. He opens it and gently presses it to his hand, “We are here for you… _always_. Eli, Gigi, Soh, me… You’re not alone.” He looks _so_ tired, "No matter what your head tells you... We love you and we're here."

Erasyl feels **so** guilty for keeping them up. He clutches the locket to him and falls, Elliot slowing him down so he doesn’t hurt anything, into Ned. Strong arms wrap around him, holding him together. There’s movement behind him and Elliot’s there, leaning into Ned’s side, maybe hugging them both. There’s another arm there so probably.

The weak light in the window gets brighter and they all eventually get up. Erasyl goes to take a shower to rinse off the dried sweat. By the time he heads downstairs, there’s coffee brewing and food being made. Ned’s at the stove, his hair still damp from his own shower. Elliot’s nowhere to be seen but that’s ok. Erasyl gets silverware and the plates Ned pulled from the cabinet and sets the table before slumping into his usual chair. Neither of them talk, but it’s not particularly awkward. There’s an air of exhaustion that excuses the silence. Ned serves the food as Elliot appears, his own hair shiny and towel-dried. They all tuck in, movements sluggish. Erasyl’s not particularly hungry but he hasn’t eaten since lunch yesterday so he nibbles at the eggs and toast the best he can.

“We’ve started looking for a counselor,” Ned said at length, “We’ll have a few set up so you can decide which one is the best for you.”

Erasyl nodded, curling in on himself, “... Ok…”

Ned sighed through his nose, “This isn’t a punishment, Sylla… We-... We’re trying to help. You’ve been through some nasty shit and… there’s only so much we can do to help. We don’t like seeing you suffering. Last night… Last night scared us. We need to find a way to help you with this,” he reached across the table, palm up. Erasyl stared at it for a moment and slowly reached for it. Ned’s fingers curled around his and squeezed a little, “We’ll figure it out, no matter how long it takes.”

Erasyl nodded.

By the end of the week, there was a list of people they’d thought might be a good match for him. Ned took off the afternoon of the first appointment for the first one on the list. Erasyl’s nervous, his palms sweating something awful as they sit in the waiting room. He draws to try and calm himself down, but his hands are shaking too much and all the lines end up squiggly. They’re finally called for their appointment and settle into an office.

The counselor is an Omega man. He’s small but intense in a way Erasyl doesn’t like. It’s not even that he talks harshly... because he doesn’t talk much at all. If he does, it’s with a practiced gentle tone that Erasyl doesn’t think comes naturally to him given how sharp and aware his eyes are. It’s just his aura… much like Elliot’s that first time they’d met, only this was supposed to be a ‘safe place’ and not a pimp house.

They make it through the initial questions and such but Erasyl wants to leave so they do. A couple of days later, they’re in the office of somebody else. This one’s an Omega woman who’s cheery personality wears on him. Her voice is high, the tone and pitch of it bothering his ears to the point of making him want to dig his eardrums out so, even though she’s very nice, they don’t make another appointment for her either. The Beta male after that is an immediate no. Something about his mannerisms and accent sets Erasyl off into a panic attack. He comes around awhile later wrapped up tight against Elliot, his blanket tucked around him. He hears Ned out in the hall with the Beta who sounds upset and deeply apologetic about the whole thing.

“Was he one of them?” Elliot asked, keeping his voice low.

Erasyl shook his head, “I’ve never seen him before… He just acted like one of them and the way he talks…”

“Ok,” Elliot’s phone screen lights up his face and Ned comes in a moment later. He picked Erasyl up and carried him out the door.

He spotted the counselor trying to hide out of sight in the small office, “I’m… I’m sorry.”

The counselor seemed about to say something but instead wrote something down on a post-it and handed it to Ned who read it and showed it to Erasyl.

_‘It’s not your fault’_

Erasyl teared up and clutched the paper. The counselor smiled gently and wrote another one, slowly handing it to him directly this time. They didn’t touch at all but the gentle smile was soothing.

_‘You’ll get better.'_

He glanced up and the Beta nodded once before taking a step or two away. Ned turned for the door and took him out to the car. It was snowing outside, big fat flakes of white raining down on everything. It was cold and it sounded wet, probably unpleasant honestly. Ned set him in the car and opened the door for Elliot. Erasyl buckled himself in, the strap shaking a little until he latched it. He curled up under his blanket and sort stared out the window as Ned drove them home. Parts of the ground were going white but it mostly looked gross.

By the time they got home, the front of the house had a nice thin blanket of it everywhere. Ned carried him from the car, Elliot unlocking the door for them. Erasyl was a little sad to see the footprints marking up the white. It seemed a shame to mess it up. A couple of kids down the street were outside and ruining their own though so he figured it could be worse… It might even be covered up later if the white flakes didn’t stop soon.

He’s deposited on the couch with his blanket and Dandelion soon handed to him. Dinner’s made and eaten. Erasyl showers and curls back up on the couch with Ned and his blanket. Elliot’s working on his laptop again, looking particularly focused.

It’s a quiet rest of the night. Ned mentions something about having ‘Davy and them’ over tomorrow if the snow’s good and Elliot hums something of an agreement. Erasyl’s too drained to care much, content to just _be_ there. When he finally goes up for bed, he puts both notes on the bedside table, making sure to press the sticky bit down to keep them there, and his locket on top of them. He wants to believe he’ll get better, but he’s not sure. He’s not sure if he knows how to **not** be scared anymore.

The snow stopped sometime in the night but there’s a layer of it everywhere outside when he wakes up. They eat breakfast and clean the place up a little. Erasyl feeds the rabbits and brushes them when they’re done. Daisy fidgets to get down before he’s done with her and ends up chewing on something they’d missed under the couch while he’s busy with Dandelion who sits nicely for him. Elliot rescues the sock from Daisy and puts her back into their pen after some petting.

About half an hour later, Erasyl finds himself in puffy pants and like three pairs of socks while Ned’s wondering where the sled in the closet walked off to. He’s not sure why he’s wearing said puffy pants or why there’s a matching puffy coat and a pile of other things by the back door. If so much is needed to go play in the white stuff then why bother at all?

There’s a knock at the door as Elliot says something about how the Alphas probably crashed it last year and answers the door. Voices leak into the house, one deeper than the other two. The scarred Alpha herded the boy, Arthur? into the house, Abigail right behind them.

“Come on Artie! Let’s get your things on,” she walked off for the bathroom, blond boy bounding after her.

“Ready to eat some snow?” the scarred Alpha grinned.

“Not if you eat it first,” Ned replied, apparently giving up on the sled, “Hey Sylla. Go get your coat.”

Erasyl did as asked though wasn’t sure why. It was cold outside and they didn’t have anywhere to be today. What was the point of going outside if they were just going to freeze. Still, he put his coat on and pulled the hat on along with the gloves and boots. Ned shrugged on a coat of his own and pulled gloves on before nudging him out onto the back patio. As expected, it was cold. He could see his breath when he exhaled through his mouth, making him look like he was smoking. It was weird.

“Ready, Sylla?” Ned asked.

“What are we doing?”

“Going to play in the snow.”

“Why,” Erasyl eyes the garden, “That doesn’t seem like… It doesn’t seem like it’ll be fun.”

“How do you know if you don’t try it?” Ned smiled, “Give it ten minutes. If you hate it, you can go back inside ok?”

“I-”

“Sylla!” Arthur rushed up in his puffy jacket, “Gonna make a snowman! Wanna help!” He bounced in his boots, face already going red with cold.

“I… um…”

“Come on!” he grabbed his hand and tugged him off into the garden. Arthur eventually let go to flop down and start packing it together. Before long he’d started to roll it.

Erasyl stood there, taking it all in. It was fluffy, but not. It was cold too, but maybe not as much as he’d expected. His nose was definitely freezing. There was… something pretty about it though. The lack of color here was different than on a piece of paper. The way it changed how things like the trees looked was fascinating.

“Dad! Hurry up!” Arthur looked like he was having trouble rolling his, now, fair sized mound of snow. He’d carved a swath into the garden, leaving almost bare grass behind. It was kind of ugly honestly.

Davy? tromped out of the house in his own coat and boots and said something to Ned before shoving him off the patio and into the snow. The pair made their way over, Davy running up and slow-tackling a squealing Arthur into the snow. Ned cocked a brow and jerked his head at the pair and Erasyl shook his head vehemently. The Alpha snorted.

“Um… what’s a snowman?”

Ned blinked, “It’s a man of snow.”

Erasyl felt his brain sputter to a stop, “Um…”

Ned laughed, “We pack snow together into different sized balls and stack them on top of each other,” he crouched in the snow, balling some of it and squishing it together before rolling it around on the ground making it bigger.

Erasyl watched and tried to copy but couldn’t quite get it, “It keeps falling apart.”

Ned moved in front of him, cupping Erasyl’s smaller hands with his bigger ones. They scooped snow and Ned showed him how to squish and mold it. “This snow isn’t the best for building things.” he said, “It’s on the powery side, not as wet… _but_ ,” he pressed Erasyl’s fingers tighter, “with enough force, we can make this work,” he let go and in Erasyl’s hand was a lope-sided ball, “There!”

“This isn’t really round though.”

“No but we can roll it with more snow and get it there,” Ned grinned and started his own ball again. Erasyl wasn’t convinced but followed Ned’s lead in rolling it around to get it bigger. Arthur and Davy were working on two more. A decent sized lump of snow sat in the middle of the garden. Erasyl kept rolling his, trying his damndest to make it as round as he could. It was hard though. It didn’t want to be perfectly round and by the time he was done with it, the whole thing’s misshapen with a lump on one side. Ned finished his and left it near the first lump… which now had a second ball on top. Erasyl wasn’t sure what to do now. His didn’t look good… at all. Even Arthur’s was better.

“What’s the matter?” Ned came up with a smaller one.

“It’s awful,” he made a face.

“Eh,” Ned shrugged and pointed at the hump, “We just punch this part off and it’s fine.”

“Punch it?”

“Yea,” Ned brought his fist down on the lumpy bit and most of it flaked off, “See? You try and get the rest.” He rolled it to a better angle. Erasyl didn’t really _want_ to hit it, but did anyway and the rest of it came off. The snowball was now mostly round and Ned showed him how to smooth it out before hoisting it up and on top of the larger one. They packed more snow to keep it all steady and then Ned put the head on top.

“Come on!” Arthur grabbed his hand, jumping around, “We have to find arms and eyes!”

Erasyl had no idea what the boy meant and simply followed him to the trees where the snow wasn’t as thick. He watched Arthur grab sticks, breaking a couple of them, and took the ones thrusted at him. Arthur then went on a hunt for rocks and Erasyl ended up with almost more than his hand could carry.

“Boys!” Abigail called from the back door, plastic bucket in hand. Elliot was standing next to her, still inside. Arthur rushed up, leaving Erasyl to follow him, and grabbed the bucket before running back to his snowman. He yanked a scarf out of it and wrapped it under the top ball of his. A knit hat went on top and a carrot was jammed in the middle. “Where are the sticks?” Erasyl handed two of them over and watched Arthur stab them into the middle ball. Rocks went into the top one and Arthur backed up from a crude-looking face, “There!” He seemed very proud of it, “Now for yours!” He tugged Erasyl over to the other one, “Do what I did! The sticks go there!”

Erasyl tried to copy him, pushing the sticks into the appropriate ball and putting everything else on the top one. He still wasn’t really seeing the fascination with it. It was silly… though… He cocked his head as he looked at the finished product… maybe there was something to it after all…. He felt sort of accomplished at least. He’d helped build that after all.

Arthur tugged on his hand, “Wanna make snow angels?”

“What are those?”

“Come on! I’ll show you! Dad showed me last year,” he dragged Erasyl to a mostly untouched spot in the garden and… flopped on his back, waving his arms and legs for a moment and then struggled back up, “There!” he grinned, “See? It’s a head with wings and a skirt!”

Oh.

“You try!” Arthur shoved him a little in excitement.

“Artie!” Davy called, something _Alphaish_ in his voice, “No pushing!”

Erasyl didn’t really want to lay in the snow… but the big blue eyes staring up at him, melted something in his chest… so he did… and waved his limbs like Arthur had and then struggled up and out. It didn’t look as nice but Arthur was thrilled with it and added a halo right above the head. He bounded up and hugged Erasyl around the waist with a huge grin.

“We match!”

They didn’t really.

Erasyl smiled anyway.


End file.
